Life and Musings of a Married Bookworm.

Week 30! (Or, how on earth did we get here so quickly??)

2012-02-06T13:55:00.000-08:00

Hello there,

To start out with, I'm going to out and out say this right now: When the hell did I get to be in week 30 (technically, 29 weeks and 3 days)?! Time is going by so quickly! It's hard to believe that in 10 short weeks (or sooner!), we'll be holding our dear little Molly.

Apparently, she is growing and gaining weight, which is good! She should be about 14-15inches long and weights 2 1/2-3pounds. She also is quite the mover. And also takes after Momma and Daddy in that she's definitely a night-owl. To the point of waking me up because of how much she's moving about and kicking. Thursday night, she gave me one heck of a smack in my ribcage, the kind that made me gasp for breath as I woke up. She liked that, cause she kept doing it. She also loves the somersaults (at least, it feels like that), kicks. She has gotten this habit of when I place my hand on her or Hubby does, she stretches up against it. We think she's already a cuddler! She also loovveess to hear Hubby's voice and we think, his pulse at night. Cause she feels him or hears him and won't stop moving about. She also either hates or loves oranges, but it's the sure-fire thing to get her moving about if I need to. Her eyes are opening and closing, and she can tell when it's light out or dark out (pretty cool!). Brain's developing and she's just growing and growing. I feel like she grows overnight at times.

As for me, I'm feeling rather wonderful! So far, the only complaint I have (still) is just the trouble of sleeping well. My back hurts and I can feel my pelvic bones expanding and also hips and such. Not so fun, but hey, all part of the deal right? My friends joke that it's just getting me ready for when Molly is here and she keeps me up all night.

I have a doctor's appointment this Wednesday, so I should get all the results back from my labwork, and I have some questions I need to ask.

It's so exciting that there's 10 weeks left! And also a bit terrifying. Baby Shower is planned in March, and I'm looking forward to celebrating Molly with family.

Hubby and I are at the point where we can't wait to meet her! Though we both (obviously) know that she needs to stay where she is for at least 6 more weeks.

April is coming up so fast. I can hardly wait!

Here's my full-29/starting Week30 picture! I'm very, very round! Only going to get more so from here on out! Hehe.

Week 28/Starting 29

2012-01-29T14:14:00.001-08:00

As of Saturday, I am a full 28 weeks and starting 29 weeks. Hard to believe that there's just 11 weeks and 6 days to go until darling Molly shows up! Provided she doesn't come early, which is entirely possible.

This week, Molly weighs 2 1/2 pounds and measures 14 1/2 inches, or thereabouts. She is definitely getting a LOT more active, or it is possible that she's just big enough for me to feel her a lot more. Either way, wow! Active kicking rolling little one. It's amazing. She has eyelashes and can blink! Which is strange to think about a little bit. She's also just gaining weight, developing LOTS of neurons and such too. Exciting time.

Hard to believe we're in the 3rd trimester already! Time has just flown by. I'm not at that stage where I'm going "I just need this baby to come out already!!", but I am definitely at that stage of desperately wanting to meet/hold her (as is Hubby), even though I know she needs to stay in there for a while longer. Everyone's been asking how I'm feeling, if I'm feeling uncomfortable yet etc etc. And I can honestly say that I've been feeling rather great! The only real complaints I have are trying to get comfortable sleeping at night. My back tightens up and my legs have started cramping at time. And the whole having to get up 2-4x a night again. Generally though, I'm feeling wonderful. We'll see how that goes for the next couple of months of course.

Still no word from my doctor, so I'm going to assume I don't have GD (yay!). My next appointment is a week from this coming Wednesday. I've been hearing that I then will have to start going in every 2 weeks instead of 4. We shall see. I'm having trouble concentrating on work cause really, the only thing on my mind is counting down until Maternity Leave. Though I think at this point, I'm allowed to be a bit distracted from everything.

Hubby had fun this morning. He put on a stethoscope and could hear Molly's heartbeat coming in nice and strong. I got to hear her too, and it was an amazing sound. She's started doing this...I don't know what to call it. It feels like she's pushing up against my belly with her butt or head. And then when I put my hand on her, she totally kicks. I don't think it's a foot but maybe it is? Feels too round though.

No picture for today. That one from the other day works just fine. I haven't suddenly grown or anything in the last two days. Lol.

Oh! I had a few amusing things happen this week in regards to being pregnant. The first being that I had a client at work go "oh you're having a girl!" before I even stood up. Which was hilarious. He then proceeded to tell me that I'll have her during the full-moon in April and to make sure I don't get induced. The second was having two little girls on seperate occasions in restrooms of restaurants look at me, giggle, and go "you're pregnant!" One looked about 11. The other was barely 3. She had her mom with her and her mom laughed adn went, "I'm glad you actually are. She's said that before about someone who wasn't. Pointing and everything. >< " It's been amusing. So far though, no stranger touching. We'll see if that stays but I am determined to not have any random stranger grabbing my stomach!

That's all for me. Time to go change laundry!

Good news!

2012-01-26T10:27:00.000-08:00

I am not having the best last couple of days. However, I do have some good news/happy things.

1. I haven't received a call from my doctor yet. I think that means that I do NOT have Gestational Diabetes! They said they'd have the results in a week, and if I did, they would call me asap. It's been over a week. Yay!

2. Even when I'm feeling emotionally overwhelmed and freaking out, feeling Molly move around and kick floods my entire body with such an extreme and strong love that it blows me away. How can I love someone this much already without even meeting her yet?

3. Only 3 more months to go! Or 12 weeks. Or however you want to count that. Hehe.

4. Which also means, only 3 more months till 13-15 glorious weeks of maternity leave. Longest break since summer of '06. I am really excited. Then again, I'll have a newborn. Might not be as much of a break as I'm thinking. Then again, just not having to go to work everyday will be nice.

Here's my picture for this week.

27-28 Weeks!

2012-01-22T18:37:00.000-08:00

First things first, I'm feeling a LOT better! I don't sound like a frog anymore. I felt pretty bad for a few days, but steadily felt better. Today though, I feel so much better. I am very thankful for that.

Anyway, this week was quite busy in terms of Molly. Tuesday I had my 3rd Trimester bloodwork done. The glucose test was not that bad at all. Just annoying. I also have this nasty bruise under my skin from getting my veins pricked three times. The weird one is that it didn't hurt at all. So I was rather surprised when I looked down a couple days later and had this massive bruise. Oh well. My OB let me know that they'd only call if I did have gestational diabetes. If not, I'd find out about my bloodwork at my next appointment. So far, no news! So here's hoping it keeps that way.

Thursday, we had our 2nd and final Ultrasound! Molly cooperated and the doctor got a good look at everything he needed to. He said she looks great. The ultrasound picture isn't the best one this time around, but super cute. If you look at her closely, you can see both her eyes as she's looking straight at the "camera".

As far as the rest of the week, Molly has been gaining weight and won't stop moving. She's particularly fond of the hours between 7-10AM, after lunch, 3-7pm, 9-midnight, and 2-4AM. Apparently, she's already getting her own schedule down. Which is really cool to realize/feel. I do have to admit though, I could do without the cartwheels at 2AM. Hubby's been having fun feeling her kick and move. She definitely loves his voice and also will NOT stop moving when he has his hand on top of where she is.

For me, I've been feeling quite wonderful (besides the cough). Not gaining too much weight, back isn't hurting too badly except at night. The only thing that's been a bit of a pain (quite literally) is the round ligament pain and also when Molly decides to dig her elbow or knee up into my ribs. I've been feeling rather awesome, though.

I'm still amazed that I'm in my 3rd Trimester already. It's crazy to think that in 11-12 weeks, I could be holding my darling Molly! Assuming she comes on time. For all I know, she'll be late or a couple weeks early! We are sooo excited. I can't believe she's almost here!

This weekend I went down to Escondido to visit Jess. I took the train down (which ended up being a great idea cause of how rainy and messy it was here yesterday! I did NOT want to be driving), and spent the day with her and her darling son Charlie. We had such a blast hanging out, eating good food, and talking. We traded Christmas gifts and overall, the visit was exactly what I needed. She also introduced me to this stuff called "cookie butter" from Trader Joe's. It was like cookie dough peanut butter. Way too yummy. I need to go get myself a jar. (Thanks Jess!)

Nothing too much happening this week. Just working and relaxing.

Here's my picture! I'm definitely pregnant. It's a bit strange to see your stomach move of its own volition when Molly is kicking and rolling around. Hehe.

26 Full Weeks/Beginning 27 Weeks

2012-01-15T16:58:00.000-08:00

I sound like a frog. Yep, a frog. Because I caught a head-cold. Hooray! (That is sarcasm, in case you couldn't tell.) Sick pregnant lady is miserable. I'm eating so many oranges, drinking tea, and all of that good stuff.

Way to start out 3rd Trimester!

I had a doctor's appointment on Wednesday (which is probably where I got my cold). Everything looked great, according to my doctor. Weight gain, protein, etc. Molly is about two pounds now, moving like crazy, and heartbeat nice and strong. Also, my belly is huge. Which I'll take a picture later when I feel better.

I go in on Tuesday to do all of my 3rd Trimester labwork (yay glucose testing! Two and a half hours). I also have another ultrasound on Thursday. I can't wait to see Molly again.

And oh my goodness, three months and a week until due-date! Well, providing she comes on time of course.

She apparently loves somersaulting. Also, kicking mommy's ribs and hands pushing up again ribs and poking a lot. It's quite entertaining. If a bit painful.

Ok, that's all from the sick pregnant lady. Going to go make more tea now.

26 Weeks!

2012-01-07T13:27:00.000-08:00

Not much to update but Molly is moving and kicking a TON.

So here is 26 weeks!

Do-Over

2012-01-04T10:10:00.000-08:00

So....you know those days where you just know everything is going to go perfectly and it's going to be a great day?

...yah, I'm not having one of those.

It started last night. Hubby had to work overtime, which, on the one hand, yay! More money! That's great and awesome! On the other hand, we didn't get home till almost 10pm. Which meant anything I had "planned" on doing last night didn't end up happening, because by the time we got home, I was too exhausted to actually stay up to do anything.

Though Hubby and I, and then just Hubby (after I had to go to bed), spent about an hour+ figuring out budget/disability/maternity leave etc. Good thing is: After his hard work, we have our budget down and it looks like we're going to be totally fine! Yay! That's a huge stress relief. And it looks like, if all my disability+planned family leave goes through, I can take a full 12 weeks off, paid partly by the state! Huzzah!

Then I went to go pass out and slept rather horribly. Just kept having nightmares and strange dreams, waking up off and on. So by the time my alarm went off, I didn't really hear it. Thankfully, I have a 2nd alarm set for just that kind of thing, so we were able to get up and out and to work on time. In the process, I spilled juice all over myself. Twice.

All before 8am.

Do-Over on today please.

New Year's, 6 months/25 weeks

2012-01-02T15:13:00.000-08:00

I'm not one for New Year's Resolutions. Mostly because a. I don't end up keeping them, and b. things like that just don't work for me, thus the don't end up keeping them.

Instead, I usually like picking a word to live my year by. Last year, I didn't. 2011 was not the best year in the world. In fact, it was rather sucky. The overall tone of the year was just bad. Now, there were good things that did happen. To highlight a couple:

-Molly happened. Obviously. Amazing wonderful seriously awesome. And probably the highlight of the year for us.

Along with that, Hubby and I celebrated 3 years of marriage! Wow. And to find out that we were having Molly just a week or so before was the perfect way to celebrate it. Also, in December, we celebrated 5 years of being together. And Hubby got to feel Molly kick for the first time! It was lovely.

-Raises. We both got raises this past summer. And we are incredibly grateful for them. Especially in this economy. Hubby also got given sick days/vacation days/holidays too. Which is wonderful.

Because of the raises, we were able to pay off a good amount of debt and such. Which is perfect, since that's what we wanted to try to do before we got pregnant. Worked out well!

****

Now, on to 2012. I've been thinking a lot about what kind of word I wanted to pick. My friend picked experience. Which I liked.

So I think I'm going to go with that word too. Because I think I'm going to have a lot of new experiences in 2012, not the least of which will be childbirth and becoming a parent. In fact, pretty sure that will define most of 2012 for me.

I also want to experience new things. See what this year has in store for us. Be willing to try things, even if they don't work out.

So here's to 2012! And experiencing new, amazing things.

***

Also, sending out a HUGE thank you to all the family who bought us lovely things for Molly. She is going to look adorable.

We're also very grateful to Hubby's parents for getting us the sleeper and stroller/carseat for Christmas! I practiced with it and was able to take out the carseat and fold the stroller down one-handed. Very happy about that. Plus, not that heavy either!

****

Molly Update:

She's moving a TON now. Uterus is the size of a soccer-ball (good lord). She's gaining fat and such, probably weighs 1 1/2 lbs. And overall, packs quite an oomph when she puts her mind to it. In Hubby's words, "Has she always been that active?!" "Yes. There's a reason I can't sleep at night sometimes."

I have a dr's appointment next week, and another ultrasound the week after! Very excited for the ultrasound. She should be moving around enough to get a good picture.

Here's my 6month/25 Week picture: (You know, the ratio of belly to my legs is getting quite hilarious. 9mos should be quite interesting. Also, belly button is doing weirrddd things.)

Post-Christmas, 23 weeks/Starting 24!

2011-12-27T10:30:00.000-08:00

So...Christmas is over. Back to the daily grind!

Christmas was really nice this year. We got to see family. Got some wonderful gifts for Molly, including the big items we wanted (thanks, mom and dad!). We didn't end up seeing Sherlock Holmes2 like we thought we would, but that's ok. I was too tired after Christmas Eve to stay up for another few hours.

Christmas day was exciting because we had the other side of the family over for dinner, which turned out lovely. Had some great conversation and lots of good food (leftovers, yay!) and just overall had a nice weekend.

I can't believe 2012 is starting in a week. Where on earth did 2011 go?

Anyway! This week developmentally for Molly, I guess her face is almost all formed (whoa!) and she's going to start gaining weight from now until she's born. Yay! I also have been feeling her move quite often and regularly which is amazing. Also have figured out feeling where she is without her moving about (figured that out last night) and that is really cool. Hubby spent a good chunk last night just listening to her move about. He tried to hear her heartbeat with a stethoscope, which didn't work out as well, but she definitely could feel it and kicked it every time he moved it. Hehe.

In terms of pregnancy, I'm actually feeling great! The only real complaint I have is that my back has been hurting like mad a whole lot. I'm going to ask my doctor about that, next appointment I have (Middle of January). I can see why they say this is the best part of pregnancy. I have all my energy back (mostly), feel amazing, and look pretty good, if I do say so myself.

This week is another short week of work, as is next week. Get to skip out on the evil Mondays, woot! And hopefully things keep looking up and getting better as the new year kicks off. Though I can't imagine them not, given in four shorts months, we'll be holding our amazing Molly in our arms. Oh my goodness!

Picture from Christmas Eve (Week..23, I believe). As Hubby said, it's impossible for me to not look pregnant, which I do not mind in the slightest. Also, belly button is doing weird things. 0_o

Life

2011-12-21T11:50:00.000-08:00

Molly is kicking like crazy. My back is hurting like nobody's business (a trip to a chiropractor might be in my future). We have to say bye to dear friends this week. I feel like I grew overnight. Christmas is in 4ish days. Family is in town.

And we have officially started a Baby Registry at Target.

....where on earth did 2011 go??

21 Weeks + Lots of other exciting things

2011-12-11T13:36:00.001-08:00

So...as you can tell, I'm about 2 weeks behind on this blog. But I have a very good reason for this! I was out of town last weekend!

I went to visit my Twin, and had an absolutely lovely time. We relaxed, ate good food, wandered around all of the old places. I found some fun things for myself, some Christmas gifts for Hubby, and a couple things for Molly.

It was a much-needed relaxing mini-vacation. I figured last weekend was the best weekend given that it was just after Thanksgiving but still far enough ahead of Christmas to not get in the way of all the Christmas craziness. Plus, 5 months pregnant is just enough to show off, but not enough for me to be super exhausted. I don't think. I'm still new to all of this, of course.

Anyway, I had a lovely time!

This past week was relatively uneventful. Work, school, office Christmas party.

Oh! I never told you about the Ultrasound appointment besides the picture! Well, we ended up waiting around for a good hour and a half or so, and then got seen for a grand total of 30 minutes probably. The guy was incredibly efficient. I am chuckling to say that Molly did not cooperate very much. As in, she would not move. She just kind laid there and when he tried to get her to move (ouch), she just would turn her head and then go back to sucking her thumb. But! He is 95% sure she is a she. I have another appointment in January, and I'm guessing it will be a LOT easier to see then.

Though, typical, she then started moving up a STORM just a day or two after the appointment. And now won't stop moving. It's a very obvious "whomp whomp" too. Not any fluttering anymore.

Which leads to my next exciting news! Hubby got to feel Molly kick last night! Several times, in fact!! The first time we were watching a movie, and she was moving quite a lot, so I told him to stick his hand where she was moving. He suddenly got this look on his face and went, "Was that-...?" "yep!" He wouldn't move his hand the rest of the movie. Then we went and laid in bed talking. She really started moving about, and I told him to feel her. He was getting confused a bit between his hand with his pulse, so he stuck his head on my stomach (well, ear/cheek), and Molly promptly kicked him in the head. Or elbowed him. We aren't sure. But at any rate, I then went, "Hi Molly!" And she went crazy. He then said the same thing, and she started moving around and kicking. He could actually hear her moving around and such.

This was an amazing end to a wonderful happy day, because yesterday marked our 5th year of being together! Yes, five years ago yesterday, the love of my life asked me out on a date to the LA Library to study for finals. Five years later, we are having a daughter! Amazing!

As for Molly's growth, apparently she is the size of a large banana (seriously, who comes up with these analogies?) and can actually taste the food I eat! Or rather, has her tastebuds developing. So if I want her to love her veggies when she's born, better start eating them now. Haha. I have an appointment with my regular OB this Wednesday. Should just be a routine checkup!

Next post might not be for a couple of weeks, given that Christmas is only 2 weeks away (EEP!) and Hubby's family is flying in a week from today (yay!). So I'm going to assume that these next two weeks are going to be super busy and crazy. Need to finish Christmas shopping, mail out packages, bake, etc.

That's it from me!

Here's the photo I took earlier in the week. I can't believe we're over halfway there!

It's a....

2011-12-01T16:21:00.001-08:00

GIRL!

Molly Katherine. We are so excited!

Week 19/20

2011-11-27T15:24:00.001-08:00

I'm not going to have a very big post today.

(EDIT: Apparently, I had more to talk about than I thought.)

It's been a lovely, lazy week! Mostly because I've been off work since Thursday!

Thanksgiving was wonderful and relaxing. We slept in. I made cinnamon rolls for breakfast. We got to see family we hadn't seen in a bit, and eat lots of good food, and just enjoy being with each other. Had great conversations. Had my belly touched a lot which I did not mind in the slightest. And otherwise, enjoyed the day.

Then we slept in (again) on Friday (Yay no work!!), and Hubby got invited last minute to go shooting. So I just stayed home, relaxed, watched a couple movies, and then proceeded to read the first two books of The Hunger Games. I've read them before, but didn't get a chance to read the final one. So I decided to read the first two again before jumping right into Mockingjay. I was so glad I did! I whittled away about 5 hours reading those two books, and then spent Saturday reading Mockingjay. That series is currently one of my favorite, and I am very excited for the movie coming in March!

Saturday evening, I decided to take Hubby out on a date! We went and watched J. Edgar--fascinating movie!--and did the whole popcorn/drink combo thing. It was a lot of fun, and we both enjoyed the movie and the date a lot.

Today, I went to Target to grab some stuff we needed, hoping that the craziness of Black Friday had gone away. Thankfully, it had! Though the mall right across the street looked absolutely insane. I think if I ever need to go to the mall, I'm going to have Hubby drop me off and then pick me up so I don't have to deal with parking. Ugh.

In Baby news, still growing. Getting fat and all that good stuff! Though I think the most exciting thing for me is feeling Baby totally kicking me off and on! It's such a strange amazing feeling! I am also super excited for this week! Thursday, we have our ultrasound and we'll find out the gender. Yay! And then Friday, I hop a train to go visit my Twin for the weekend! Soo excited! A much needed wonderful break!

Sadly, this means our condo won't be too festive till I get back. But oh well! I'll be baking and decorating soon. In the meantime, Christmas music! w00t!

Here's the picture for this week! It's from Thanksgiving. I'm really popping!

P.s. I cannot believe that I'll be 5 months pregnant in a week. I'm over halfway there! What!

18 Weeks/19 weeks!

2011-11-19T21:02:00.001-08:00

I don't have much to say tonight. I'm officially 18 weeks and beginning 19 weeks, w00t!! Though in 2 weeks I will be 5 months pregnant. And I can't help but go where on earth did the time go?? But I have a funny feeling that's just going to be the running mantra in my life for a while.

I'm very excited for Thanksgiving. And in a couple weeks, I get to go visit my Twin! I'm very excited about this, especially since it'll be right after my ultrasound, and I can tell her in person!

Anyway, here is my picture for this week.

Great Week!

2011-11-17T09:48:00.001-08:00

So it has been a great week, and it's only Thursday! Yesterday was slightly frantic at work, well, who am I kidding? Mon-Wed was super frantic at work. I usually don't mind, but yesterday was killer. I had a big project to get done and also then had to go to class, early, because of a group project. However, got the project at work done in record time (even my Boss noticed and was super happy about it), and was able to help with the group project. Which, I might add, we all feel amazing about, and I think this has been the most fun I've had working with a group on a project! That is a great feeling, instead of feeling like our project is going to suck or get ruined or whatever else.

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday! Everything went well. I'm right on track for where they want me, have only gained about 3 pounds since last appointment (which is right about where he wanted me). Though personally, I think I've gained about 5pounds in boobs alone. Yes, I did go there.

Anyway. Lab tests all came back great! The best news on that end of things was that I am negative for Alpha1!! Which I got tested for cause Hubby has it, and we were worried that if I'm a carrier, then Baby might have it. Looks like not though! w00t!

Though the very best news from that entire appointment is that we have an ultrasound scheduled!! Should be for December 1st! We are soooo excited about {finally!} seeing our baby and finding out the gender and everything! Yes, we are finding out the gender.

In other news..........

Is anyone else flabbergasted (I love that word!) that Thanksgiving is in one week and that the Holidays are upon us? When on earth did that happen?

I, for one, am looking forward to my 4-day weekend next week! I'm also thinking about Christmas shopping. Thinking. And looking online. Think I'm going to avoid going to the mall as much as possible from now until like....after Baby is born. Heh. I have some fun good ideas! Here's hoping they all work out and everyone likes them!

I've also rediscovered the joys of having hair long enough to pin up! It's still pretty layered from when I had it super short, but it makes for fun wispy-endings! I absolutely love it. I think I've only worn my hair down once this week!

Hubby also took me on two lovely dates this week! The first was to Costco where we stocked up our pantry (yay!), and the second was to Benihana for their Chef Special for only $45 for the two of us. It was quite lovely.

Anyway, that's about all from me today. It's been a great week and looks like it'll be a very fun weekend, and next is turning into a lovely short week!

Week 17/18

2011-11-13T19:56:00.001-08:00

This week hasn't had much exciting going on.

I had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday....well, I was supposed to. I got there right on time and waited, but around 2:15, the doctor called to tell the nurses he won't be in today because of 2 c-sections and 3 women in labor at the hospital. Understandably, he couldn't make it. However, I saw one of the nurses, who took my blood pressure/weight and all that good stuff. Then tried to get Baby's heartbeat. When I say "try", I mean it took her about 5 different tries to pinpoint where Baby was because apparently, Baby did not like the Doppler at all. Baby was running away. I thought it was the funniest thing, and figured I might be in for some trouble with this one. Though a freind poitned out Baby could be just shy or something. Nurse eventually got Baby's heartbeat, and it was going as fast as ever (150s!).

Everything looks good. I have another appointment on Wed, and I hope this time around we'll be able to schedule the ultrasound! All in good time, I suppose. I'm just rather impatient.

I've taken to telling Baby goodnight every night, rubbing my belly, and also singing (though that's mostly me jsut singing along to songs). Pretty sure I've been feeling Baby off and on. Been getting a lot stronger. It's pretty cool! Baby certainly was not happy after the Doppler. Totally was kicking me.

I've been doing pretty well. Popped out over the week, which is pretty cool. Definitely pregnant! Been getting headaches and feeling some round ligament pain, which isn't so fun, but oh well. I also have had trouble sleeping at night cause my back hurts. I mostly toss and turn and wake up multiple times, but what can you do. Apparently, over the weekend, I rolled over and my back popped so loud that Hubby glanced over and asked if I was ok. Ouch. He's tried to give me some backrubs but nothing's helping too much. Also getting some stretch marks, but I don't care terribly. Just figure it comes with the territory.

Overall though, been feeling rather amazing. I finally feel back to my normal self! Well, as normal as I can feel being pregnant, but not feeling constantly sick/nauseous/throwing up is a nice nice change.

I also went through my drawers and put away clothes that haven't/won't fit for a while, just to kind of get my bearings on what I have, what I might need, and what I just plain old want. Haha. Drawers look a bit bare now, but at least I kind of have an idea of what I do have and what I probably will need more of.

I can't believe Thanksgiving is in a week and a half! Where on earth is the time going? Before we know it, our Baby will be here in our arms. Yikes. I should get working on that shopping list!

Here's the picture for today. I took it on Friday, cause I really liked my outfit.

4 Months!

2011-11-05T12:10:00.000-07:00

I am officially four months pregnant today! When on earth did that happen?? I know everyone said time would be flying by while being pregnant, but I feel like I blinked and suddenly there we are.

Baby has fully developed ears and can hear sounds now. He/she can recognize our voices (whoa!), and hear music. Also, has sensitivity to light. Hubby hasn't tried shining a flashlight on my belly to see if Baby moves. Hehe. Apparently also just growing a LOT physically now. Can swallow, and practice breathing. Makes fists and sucks thumb (Oh dear, Baby gets that from Momma). Apparently the practice of swallowing and even sucking thumbs is for when Baby is born so he/she can more easily breastfeed. How cool is that!

In other exciting news, this is the first week that I haven't suffered from any nausea nor have I thrown up once! First time since August! I am very very happy about this fact. I have also been feeling some very suspicious flutters going on in my lower belly area. I don't know for sure if it is Baby or not, but I'm beginning to suspect it just might be! If they keep getting stronger over the weeks, guess we'll then know for sure!

I was very suspicious though when we were listening to Hubby's uncle play piano really loudly and suddenly all these flutters started happening! Baby must take after Hubby, loves loud music!

I have an appointment on Tuesday. Hopefully the doctor is happy with where I'm at, growth wise, and Baby is at and such. I should also hear back on all the tests they did too, so that will be interesting. I'm also pretty sure that we'll then schedule an ultrasound (I certainly hope so!) because the nurse said he usually does them 18-20 weeks, and I'll be 16 and a 1/2. So hopefully we'll then find out the gender and how many are in there! I am very excited.

I've been doing a lot of research into natural birth, as well. I actually really like the idea, and my doctor even said they try to get you to do that cause it's healthier all around for both momma and baby. So I'm thinking I will be trying a natural birth! Barring any medical emergencies or problems, of course. I just really do not like the idea of having an epidural which slows down contractions and then getting fed steroids to speed them up and thus making labor "faster" but can be even more painful and damaging.

But like most things, Baby has its own way of coming around and such, so if it's better and healthier to do it the other way, then that's the way it is! I want a good healthy baby and a healthy labor for me. That is what counts, in the end.

Here is the picture for this week!

P.s. It's finally cold here!! Yay winter!

15 weeks/Starting 16 Weeks!

2011-10-29T15:23:00.000-07:00

I am officially 15 weeks pregnant! Oh my goodness. That seems crazy to me, but apparently that's where I am at!

Baby did a lot of developing this week. Ears are developed (baby can hear us now! So strange but amazing!), eyelids are still fused shut but the eyes can sense light! And is the size of an apple. Seriously, who comes up with these descriptions?? Apples are all sorts of sizes. Is my baby the size of a fuji apple? Or a red apple? Or a granny smith apple? ALL different. Oh well.

I had a decently good week, except for Thursday-Friday. Thursday I had a horrible day. Morning sickness plus a migraine equals me not feeling good at all for all of Thursday and a good portion of Friday. I was rather miserable, and everyone knew it because I was super pale. I actually went straight to bed when I got home from work (after throwing up my lunch), and slept from 6:30pm to about 8pm, ate half a yogurt, and then slept until my alarm went off in the morning. A grand total of over 12 hours. Apparently I needed sleep!

As a secretary at work joked, "Oh you'll feel better! Apparently someone's going through a growth spurt!" Which was a much more fun way to think about it!

And another wonderful symptom has started to show itself: nasal congestion. Ugh. Oh well. Such is life!

Other than some bouts of morning sickness here and there, I've been feeling really good. Second Trimester is kind of nice. I hope it keeps being nice to me! Hehe.

I have an appointment on November 8th, and I'll be 16 1/2 weeks or so. And then the nurse said my doctor usually will schedule an ultrasound between 18 and 20 weeks. So I am hoping this appointment, we can get one scheduled! And yes, find out how many are in there and the sex! Exciting, no?

And in other news, it's finally starting to feel slightly fallish around here! Which makes me very happy. Cold in the mornings, for hot chocolate and tea and boots and scarves. Makes me a very happy camper. I love the fall/winter time. So so much! Plus, I love the cute bundled up pregnant lady look.

That's about it for me. Here's Week 15!

Week 14/Starting Week 15!

2011-10-24T13:59:00.000-07:00

Sorry that this post is a bit late. Had quite the busy weekend/last week, actually. For starters, had a project due for my Wednesday night class, so was working on that for Monday/Tuesday (along with the weekly Monday night go hang out with a friend for DWTS).

Then my Twin came to visit from Thursday-Saturday! It was quite fun and busy, though. She went to D-Land on Friday, then I met up with her and another friend Friday evening for hanging out/dinner at Downtown Disney. Saturday we spent all day together, and then that night Hubby and I had a birthday party.

Sunday, Hubby's uncle came to visit for dinner and hanging out. Which was awesome. He hadn't been out to visit in a long while, so it was great to hang out and show him our place and all that.

As you might be able to tell, I've been feeling much much much better!

Baby is growing steadily as far as I can tell. I'm eating well. Sleeping has been a bit of an issue lately, along with Round Ligament Pain. Ouch. That hurts. I don't notice it too much except when I try to roll over in bed, or I'm stretching a certain way. Then it's a nice sharp *twinge*. Not so fun, but oh well.

My next appointment is on November 8th, and I'll be four months by then. Halfway through! Oh my gosh. Where is the time going?? Seriously. It's just flying by now! So far, I haven't had strangers trying to touch my belly. However, each and every one of my friends is. It's rather cute and hilarious. I don't mind. Most ask, first, which I appreciate.

I really cannot wait for the ultrasound! It was so amazing to hear baby's heartbeat, I can't wait to actually see baby!! And see how many are in there, hehe.

But honestly, this time--well, now that I'm not throwing up or nauseous--has been amazing. I've got so many books at home I need to read. And I should really start thinking about baby furniture and clothes and diapers and all that other stuff. Eep! For now, though, just going to enjoy. I'll probably worry about that next week.

That's it for me! No picture this time around. But hey, not much change from last week to this week. Though I keep getting told I look like I've lost weight everywhere else. Makes me giggle slightly. I'll definitely post a picture for Week 16!

13 Weeks! Second Trimester!

2011-10-15T21:02:00.000-07:00

This week has been very up and down for me. Lots of stress at work. Had some pretty bad morning sickness Wednesday-Friday. I had to call my doctor.

But! I got into the doctor on Tuesday!! I got my physical done, blood drawn, etc, and we got to hear the heartbeat of our baby! It was the most amazing/awesome/breathtaking sound I have ever heard. I was chatting with the nurse and the doctor about some questions and then all of a sudden this

"thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump"

sound! I just stopped and kind of giggled. Hubby just stared and then grinned. It was an amazing sound. Baby was coming in at 152bpm. Apparently it should be between 110-160, so very strong heartbeat and fast.

Other than that, this week was a bit stressful. I couldn't keep food down for a couple days, and I had to call my doctor. He told me that if it kept up, I should go to the hospital to get IV'd (which, in an odd way, makes me happy that I can go to the hospital if I need to!). Thankfully, I've been eating pretty regularly now, and trying to keep things down. It seems like my first trimester was just trying to go out with a bang.

Speaking of which, 13 weeks today! Which means, I am totally in my second trimester! A third of the way through my pregnancy. How strange is that? Well, technically, I am starting 14 weeks today. I guess. Anyway, Second Trimester! A third of the way through!!

Baby is growing well and is moving about and has hair and finger/toes etc. And now is really moving about. I can't wait to see the ultrasound!

Anyway. That is this week. Here is the picture! First one I actually really like.

Officially 3 months!

2011-10-08T12:28:00.000-07:00

Today marks the day. I am officially three months pregnant! And starting Week 13 (which, I think, means one more week until the 2nd Trimester!).

Or as Hubby put it, I'm 1/3rd of the way through pregnancy! Whoa. Scary thought, isn't it??

I've been feeling pretty good, well, feeling better almost daily. My nausea still kicks in at times, but I can usually point at why (can you say not enough sleep?). The only real complaint I have had this week is that I caught a headcold (both Hubby and I did, his is worse than mine though), and I felt pretty miserable over the week. I stayed home from work yesterday because I felt awful, couldn't wake up, and almost passed out calling my boss. I then passed out until 4pm. I still feel pretty "bleh", but that extra sleep sure did help a lot. Because of being sick, I may or may not take a picture. I have one from earlier in the week I might post, but when I'm sick the last thing I want to do is take pictures. Hah.

Baby is growing! Apparently, Baby can suck his/her thumb, start making fists, and is also moving around a LOT. And, can cry silently. And feel pain. Which broke my heart to find out. Also, intestines are formed and moving to their rightful spots, and Baby weighs as much as a peach or something like that. I never can quite figure out the whole fruit/veggie analogies but oh well!

Exciting exciting news!! I received all of my insurance information, which means I am going to an OB on Thursday!! Finally! I hope I like him. I found out that an OB I had gone to a few years ago was on the list of ones I could see, but she doesn't do births anymore. So this is who she referred me to. The nurse I talked with was really nice, so I have hope I'll like this OB! I--we!--can't wait to hear our little one's heartbeat, and to make sure everything is going well. And yes, as so many have joked, find out if we're having twins or not. Lol.

That is about it for me. I'm sleeping a lot, drinking juice, and taking Vit C like crazy. Since I'm not allowed to take any cold medicine (joy).

I will definitely do an update on Thursday about how my appointment went!

Week 12!

2011-10-01T17:22:00.000-07:00

This week has been rather normal, in all senses. I've been super tired most days and nights, but my nausea is also lessening, which is such a relief! I went grocery shopping and was very excited for all the veggies/fruits I bought.

The very best thing that happened this week was finding out that AIM had reviewed my application and accepted me! They said taht my packet was sent out last week, and I received said packet today! w00t! Anthem Blue Cross will be sending me my insurance card by the 8th of October. I am very happy about this. Many thanks to my wonderful hubby for taking care of it. I will be able to get into the doctor soon! Hooray!!

Other than that, this week was normal. I feel like I'm getting into a routine of sorts, even if said routine is just getting used to being exhausted and falling asleep by 9pm every night. Ha. School has hit its stride, work is work, and life is life.

Although, I will say, I am floored that I am starting Week 12 today! Hello one (or two according to other friends) more week until I'm done with the First Trimester!! I usually count that as months, so as of today, I am 2 months and 3 weeks into my pregnancy. Wow! I am floored, amazed, and in awe that it's already been almost 3 months!

Anyway. That is my update this week. Not too much mostly because I think I caught a bit of a headcold and I am not feeling 100% today. Because of that, I will post a picture from the other day of an adorable maternity dress Hubby's aunt let me have. It's a nice, simple black dress. Super comfy and I can imagine all sorts of outfits with it! Hooray!

That's about it for me! Hope you have a wonderful weekend.

P.s., if you look closely you can even see my bump! ;)

So very happy

2011-09-30T13:49:00.000-07:00

So, I will post an "official" update tomorrow about this past week. But one thing that I found out yesterday that makes me so happy:

AIM reviewed my application and it is APPROVED!!

I should get the packet any day now, and can start getting into the doctor by October 8th! Such a huge relief and so exciting!

Anyway, just wanted to let everyone know that. I'll do a more thorough official update tomorrow about Week 11 and starting Week 12 (and thus practically done with the First Trimester!).

Picture!

2011-09-25T16:43:00.000-07:00

Here I am starting 11 Weeks! :)

Week 11 (Or, the very bad no good awful week)

2011-09-24T16:02:00.000-07:00

Good news, bad news, good news.

Bad news first!

First, had a pretty awful week. Didn't sleep enough, felt sick for most of it. Ate as regularly as I could, but stomach just wasn't liking it at all. Instant Breakfast has become my savior during the morning, because it is about the only thing that I can regularly drink without feeling worse. So this week just wasn't that great at all.

Then (now I want to preface this other thing as bad news but turns into good news. So don't freak out):

I got my letter from AIM. It was a rejection, claiming we made "too much" money. Now, bright side, they totally did their math wrong. So we wrote a letter appealing the decision and faxed it in Friday morning along with our tax returns.

This will lead into the good news. Hubby then called that afternoon to make sure they got everything and if they needed anything else and to make sure they would correct their mistake. So good: They always take the lowest income you send in (even if you've already sent in paystubs that are higher), they will review it, and given that the only reason I didn't get accepted was because of income being "too high", that should fix the problem! Bad thing: It could take up to 15 business days to get it all done. So more waiting for us, I suppose. I'm hoping that since I'm already in the system it won't take that long. But we shall see.

More good news, Hubby then took me out to Olive Garden because I was so stressed and tired and worn out after that, so that was lovely. I didn't eat as much as I wanted but oh well. My appetite is coming and going. It's very weird right now. But I'm glad I at least have some sort of appetite.

Anyway, today marks the beginning of Week 11 for Baby! Which all I can say, is this past week has been the most tiring for me. I've been exhausted even going to bed early! I decided, last night, to take a nap around 7:15, thinking I'd sleep for an hour, wake up and watch a movie with Hubby. I ended up going to bed and not waking up at all until about 11am (not counting the run to the bathroom moments of waking up). I slept for almost 15 hours! Apparently I was tired! The bad thing about this though was the fact that I hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday. Yah, dizzy, tired, nauseated me in the morning. I finally did get up and eat and feel much better now.

It's hard to believe that Baby is forming fists and is now moving about! And forming teeth! Apparently Baby will be practically fully formed by the end of this week. Wow! How amazing is that! And I'm almost done with the First Trimester! How crazy! Time is juts flying by! I cannot believe it.

No picture (yet) today. I haven't been feeling so great all week, and definitely NOT in the mood to take a picture of myself. Maybe later or tomorrow, when I'm feeling better.

Anyway though, I'm doing ok. I caught up on sleep, thankfully. Am eating more regularly. Insurance will hopefully be all taken care of, I just have to be patient for now. And I'm hoping that the 2nd Trimester, while not make me feel normal, will at least alleviate some of these annoying things.

I am super excited to meet this Baby! I cannot wait to hear the heartbeat!

Starting 10 Weeks!

2011-09-17T13:10:00.000-07:00

I'm starting my 10th week today! Oh my goodness, time is flying by! It's been almost 5 1/2 weeks since we found out!

I have been feeling much better now, thank goodness. I have been eating pretty regularly, have figured out things that I can eat that help with my nausea. And I discovered stress and/or lack of sleep makes it worse (Oh imagine that!). Though I have discovered I haven't been able to sleep very well right now. Pillow under my knees have helped, but not much. Everything is kind of achy. And I definitely waking up much slower than normal. But trying to figure out my routine and getting there.

I can't believe Baby already has finger nails and toe nails! And fingers and toes. And forming joints, and vital organs. Baby is moving already too! And growing hair! Baby is only an inch long! This is mindblowing for me. Wow.

In good news, I called AIM Friday to make sure they got my application, and if I would receive information soon. I sent it in on the 6th, and they received it on the 8th! So it was pending still on Friday, but they should be sending out my information Monday! So here is hoping everything is good, and I can get into the doctor by the end of this coming week! And we can see what's been going on with Baby and all that good stuff.

I also found out one of my friends (pregnant buddy, yay!) is having twins!! They are sooo excited!

All in all, things have been going well. I'm feeling pretty good except for nausea most of the day (but hey, at least I can eat!), and being exhausted and going to bed by 9pm. Which is very strange for this nightowl.

Here I am at 9 weeks/Beginning of 10!

Birthday

2011-09-16T20:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Mum.

I hope you had a wonderful day.

I meant to post this earlier while at work but our internet completely died.

I miss you and love you.

xoxo

Update

2011-09-09T10:17:00.000-07:00

Well, hopefully not speaking too soon, but my morning sickness, for now, seems to have abated quite a bit. Wondering if perhaps I caught a flu...

I was able to keep down 3 pieces of toast yesterday, plus some chicken broth and more toast! And I woke up feeling a lot less nauseated and was actually a little hungry.

So whether it was the flu or just morning sickness, I hope this trend keeps going. Or at the very least, the morning sickness only last a couple days, then I can eat for a few, etc.

Will keep everyone updated, but so far, today seems like it'll be a nice day!

Morning Sickness

2011-09-08T08:56:00.000-07:00

So apparently my hope that I would only have minor nausea during the 1st Trimester was a false hope. Morning sickness is currently kicking my butt. I haven't been able to keep anything down since Tuesday evening, and I feel awful.

I've been trying everything people are suggesting, from ginger to sea-bands to Dramamine to Popsicles. The only things I have found that make it a bit easier to bear are a glass of milk, lots of sleep, and sometimes being able to choke down half a banana and praying I keep it down.

I open to other suggestions, because so far, this is miserable. Only 3 1/2weeks to go till my 2nd Tri and hopefully then I will be back to normal!

Birthday!

2011-09-01T20:24:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Natalie! Here's to a wonderful year as you start your Sr year and figure out what you're going to do with the rest of your life!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Much love from us <3

(Kind of) Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-31T10:33:00.000-07:00

I took a picture of myself today, because I do want to start documenting the pregnancy. And because, I couldn't quite believe it myself.

Here is Baby at 6.5 weeks.

Was anyone else showing like this at 6.5 weeks? Cause I for sure did not expect to be. The two thoughts going through my head are "OMG Twins?" and "Maybe I'm much farther along than I expected."

Any advice? I'm finishing up my insurance paperwork this week, and hopefully can get into the doctor for my ultrasound and such in a few weeks. I know, I know. I won't be able to really know anything until then. But still, fun speculating, right?

Baby: 7 Weeks

2011-08-29T23:19:00.000-07:00

I am currently in my 7th week of pregnancy. This is mind-boggling and amazing to me. My--our--baby has a heartbeat already! And is forming baby teeth. And limbs that will soon have fingers and toes.

This baby that is growing inside of me.

It's a completely strange and wonderous feeling. I keep putting my hand on my stomach, as if I could feel he/she already. I can't, not really. And yet, I can. I feel different. More than just the whole morning sickness/bloating/dizziness. I can't quite put my finger on it. I want to say something like I'm part of something bigger than myself, which I suppose is true.

I think it's more just a constant sense of wonderment. Life is different for me. In less than 9 months, I will have a beautiful baby boy or girl in my arms. This person that is entrusted to me but is still entirely their own person. That we will help shape and grow and develop but in the end, will be themselves, no matter what. I cannot wait to encourage that.

I didn't realize how much love you can have for someone that's barely in existence. I think of this baby and my heart overflows already. I've started talking to him/her. Baby will recognize our voices from the womb. Can you believe that? Soon I'll start singing to him/her. (I need a better nickname for Baby).

This is a strange, amazing, glorious new adventure. I cannot wait to see more of it. Even if I do feel huge already, my clothes are still fitting (thank god I own mostly leggings, skirts, and dresses!), and I have a crazy desire for bananas. Yes, bananas. And mexican food. No, I don't understand it.

Just some of my thoughts at the moment. I am now about to fall asleep at the keyboard, so I will head to bed. Expect many more posts about the baby, though. After all, that's where my mind will be for the next several months.

P.s., our vacation was lovely! Lots of good food, rest, relaxation, and just overall hanging out. It wasn't as exciting as last year's, but we think that that is because we had done it before. It wasn't new and we are ok with that. It was a much more relaxed not needing to do everything kind of vacation. We needed it.

Classes have also started. They are going beautifully and I'm loving each and every one of them!

Baby

2011-08-18T09:58:00.000-07:00

So, as many have guessed, Hubby and I are expecting a new addition to our family in about 9 months! The estimated due date is April 21st, 2012.

I got my blood-work done on Tuesday, got the results yesterday. Apparently I am very pregnant. I guess 371hcg is high but in normal range? Some friends have already started teasing about twins. So I guess we will see! Either way, we are having a baby! I am very very excited. We both are.

With both of us getting raises and paying off debts, we decided that now was a great time to start our family! I went off birth control in July, and suddenly, here we are! Neither of us expected it to happen so quickly. I was sorta hoping, but I figured it would take a few months for my body to regulate back to being off birth control. Apparently not!

We are both super super excited. And we were so happy we were able to find out while we were back in VA visiting family. We were able to tell them in person, instead of having to do a phone-call! We then spent the evening calling other family on speakerphone. Needless to say, everyone is super excited!

It's very strange to think that in 9 months, I will be holding our baby. I still can't get over that I have a baby growing inside of me right now. Our very own baby. Wow. It feels real and yet doesn't, quite.

I'm sure the more time goes along, the more real everything will become. But for now, I'm going to bask in the joy and awe that there's a baby, growing. Inside of me!

And also go eat lots of sour cream, tomatoes, and honey mustard. Cause apparently, that's what I want now.

P.s. Also, CRUISE IS THIS WEEKEND!

Announcement

2011-08-15T16:11:00.000-07:00

Birthday Thoughts

2011-08-10T15:48:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday. I am 24 years old. Oddly enough, unlike other birthdays, this one does feel different. Mostly because I feel like I've gone from my early 20s to embarking on my mid-20s. Strange. Especially when I look back at what's happened in the last four-five years in my life.

It's strange to think of who I was even just a year ago, let alone three or four. I feel like I have more willingly and easily come into myself, figured out who I am and what I want from life. I feel...settled. And not in a bad way. Just, no more turmoil. I know who I am.

I....accepted. That's probably the word. I have accepted and embraced who I am. That really happened this past year. It took a lot of growing and internal conflict, along with a lot of really good soul-searching and seeking. But I finally am happy with myself. Well, happy's not the right term. It's too shallow. Mmm...I feel at peace with who I am. That's a better term. Relaxed, peaceful, and happy.

Not to say I won't continue to grow. I will. I will always be growing and learning more about myself. But for now, I feel very settled into who I am. And, after the years of turmoil, struggle, and stress, it feels really good.

This past year has not been anything spectacular (in terms of things that happened). Things progressed as they always do. Life was life. And it feels like yesterday I was celebrating last year's birthday.

This year, though. This year is going to be interesting. Big changes coming up. New adventures on the horizon.

I am honestly excited to see what this year is going to hold. And how many adventures will happen. Who knows where I'll be this time next year? (Oh goodness, let's just stick with this year for now).

In 9 days, Hubby and I will be leaving for a glorious 9 days of vacation.

In 2 days, we will be leaving to see Hubby's brother's play in VA (Thanks Mom and Dad!).

All in all, the next week will fly by, and then we will be on vacation. What a great way to start a new year! (Erm, in my life, not the New Year).

There are things today that I am very grateful for and also things I miss.

Yellow cake with chocolate frosting.
That one cake stand.
So many candles you set off the fire alarm.
Presents.
Mum's hugs.
Brother and sisters.
Friends I haven't seen for a while, whether because of time or distance.
Good friends.
My job.
My husband.

All in all, I am a very blessed and loved woman. And I am very thankful for the last 24 years, and I cannot wait to see what the next 24 have in store. Many more adventures, I would imagine.

Impatient

2011-08-04T16:40:00.000-07:00

6 days until my birthday, 12 days until classes start, 16 days until our cruise.

I hope time flies.

Crazy busy weekend!

2011-08-01T09:26:00.000-07:00

So this weekend was intense. Well, not too intense. More like, we spent most of it cleaning and reorganizing and rearranging furniture. Because, a roommate moved in! Hubby and I spent most of Saturday evening (if I'm totally honest) cleaning and going through boxes in the garage , the furniture in there, and getting it all straightened out so we could fit another car in the garage. I am happy to say we did it, and our garage is spotless! We also cleaned out hte spare bedroom, moved a bookshelf inot the living room (which added more space for books. Whee!), and moved Hubby's desk out of our room into the garage and my desk into our bedroom. We also moved our chest of drawers into the closets, and suddenly, our room looks huge! We have so much floorspace and everything is so much more organized now. It's amazing. And Alice (our cat) seems to like it too. She keeps lounging about in all different spots. And the sunlight is all over our room now, too. Which is probably what she likes.

We worked from 6pm to 2:30am on Saturday getting everything done. Why so late, you might ask. Well mostly because it had by then cooled off enough in the garage and the house that we weren't going to be dying from the heat trying to move and lift and shift all the things we needed to. And then went to Denny's to celebrate!

Yesterday, we went down to Laguna to spend some time with Aunt Kammie! We went to Johnny Rocket's for dinner, saw Cowboys & Aliens (really fun movie!), and then she let me borrow 2 cute vintage dresses for Formal Night on our Cruise. She also gave me this adorable Alice in Wonderland alarm clock! I forgot to take a picture of it cause I wanted to show it off, so I'll have to do that later tonight.

All in all, a really good weekend!

It should be interesting having a roommate. We'll all have to get used to living with each other, but I'm not worried about it. And the extra cash plus both of us having raises means we are in a pretty good spot right now. We're able to start paying off debt we've been wanting to for a while and free up even more cash.

This summer has been an amazing one, when it comes to good things happening. God has really blessed us. Here is hoping good news keeps on coming!

Oh and classes start in two weeks, which I got all of the ones I needed! w00t!

Birthday Countdown: 9 Days.
Cruise Countdown: 20 Days.

Sooo excited!

Waiting waiting waiting.........

2011-07-27T22:21:00.000-07:00

Playing the waiting game. Waiting for my birthday. Waiting for the cruise. Waiting for school to start. Waiting for other things to work out.

Just waiting. Feels like my life right now is on hold and just floating and waiting for things to change.

.....I loathe waiting.....

2011-07-14T21:54:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how so many things can change in less than 24 hours.

Wind's blowing, change is coming. I can feel it.

But telling would take all the fun. Sorry, Sweetie, spoilers. You'll have to wait and see like everyone else.

Summer Blues

2011-07-13T13:59:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else feel like the summer is dragging? Then again, I say that, and July is halfway over. Already. Days are dragging, months are flying, I suppose.

I've just been so tired lately. I have that feeling of trying desperately to keep up with how fast my feet are going so I don't fall flat on my face. I sleep enough (usually). I know I am busy. I'm not that stressed about things. If anything, I'm super relaxed about stuff because things are looking up and steadily so. I got a raise, we're paying off debt, etc etc.

So why do I feel like I haven't slept a wink? Why does my body feel like it's been working overtime even if I've slept for 10 hours?

I knew this summer would be busy. It is. It really is. But it's also been loads of fun. I haven't had issues keeping up with my classes. I'm enjoying them. Seeing friends, hanging out with people, going out.

I think what it comes down to is I just feel tired. Tired of being at work day after day. Tired of doing the same thing over and over again. I need a vacation. I need to get away for a while, to relax, to not worry about anything. To just be away and relax and have fun and let the cares of everything just melt.

Thankfully, our cruise is in 39 [long] days. And then I will be able to laze about on the ship and not worry about anything for 9 whole days.

Hey August, wanna hurry it up a bit?

Summertime is here!

2011-06-10T11:05:00.000-07:00

Whoa. Brand new format. This is...kind of awesome and kind of weird... Huh.

Anyway.

It's officially the summer! And by that I mean our weekends are slowly but surely filling up and before I know it, it's going to be September! I mean, it's already the middle of June. I swear just last week it was January. This year is certainly flying by. It's June. And not just June, the middle of June! When on earth did that happen?? 2011 is already halfway over. Goodness.

In amazing news, we have officially paid off our cruise, as of June 2nd! Now we just get to wait, save up, and wait some more until August 21st. Then it's off on a week-long vacation to Mexico again and not worrying about a damned thing! We are soooo excited about this trip again. One of the best vacations we've ever taken together. And longest. Going to be amazing!

Speaking of summer business, I have also enrolled in 12units beginning June 20th! Going to be rather busy and crazy from then until August 19th, but so worth it. Getting some good ECE units out of the way which leaves me with only 3 units to finish up this fall until I have my CDA! Which then means I can start applying places if I so choose. Though in this economy, not many places are hiring. Talk about making you feel grateful you have a steady job. Which also leads to the other amazing news that has made this summer that much more awesome, I am getting a raise tomorrow! I don't know how much but every little bit helps, and it's a raise! So I am very excited. It'll just help us more, even if it's only a buck.

Oh, back to school for a second. I'm seriously considering going for a Special Education Certification. There's definitely a LOT more need in that area. Plus, I think I want to get a Translator's certification (I don't know if that's the right term at the moment) in ASL, too. Which would also make me much more desirable for hire. Especially at the young ages. So that will probably be another year or so of schooling, but I don't mind. It's good and will help me get a better job when I do search for one.

Hubby and I have been doing some talking, and we are currently figuring out the next steps in our life. Like paying off debt and such. We have had some good (and some rather stressful but turned into good) talks about it. And I think we have the rest of the year figured out, financially and such. Barring any extreme things, of course. Which is rather strange for me to be thinking in terms of the next couple of years, but a good strange thing. Some fun good changes coming up but I'm not saying anything until they are finalized! Spoilers, sweetie.

That's about it for me for now. Summer business is coming up. Celebrating birthdays (my friends' babies are turning one!), weddings, and anniversaries. Should be a wonderful fun summertime! Hooray! ^_^

Mother's Day

2011-05-09T08:35:00.000-07:00

Happy [belated] Mother's Day, Mum.

I love you and I miss you.

I wish I could have given you a hug yesterday.....

"I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure."

2011-05-02T09:03:00.000-07:00

Last night, I watched President Obama announce live on BBC that Osama bin Laden was killed in Pakistan.

As I watched his speech, my mind went racing as I remembered that day ten years ago as if it had just happened. I woke up around 7:15 to the radio hosts talking about how the World Trade Center had been bombed. I turned on the TV in my room just as the first Tower fell. I remember just sitting there in shock. I ran to my parents' bedroom and woke up my mom, saying the WTC Tower was bombed. She said something like, "Again??" and turned on the small TV in her bedroom. I remember her eyes getting so wide as we both sat there watching the live coverage. And suddenly the second plane came and we couldn't take our eyes off of it as it struck the second Tower, and it fell.

I remember walking about in a daze, in shock that it had happened. I remember thinking that this must have been what Pearl Harbor had felt like. The utter shock, vulnerability, anger, and sadness that it had happened...that so many people had died.

It's been [almost] ten years, but you could never forget the images and footage of all the ash, soot, debris...everything.

Now, Osama Bin Laden is dead.

As my hubby said, "I mourn that a man made in the image of God made choices that brought him to a place where he committed mass murder.

I do not mourn the fact that his choices lead to his death. He made his choices, and he paid the price for those choices. It took almost 10 years...but we got him."

I pray for the families of those who were lost on that day. I pray for the soldiers, at home and deployed. And I pray that this war will come to an end soon.

For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the sheltered will never know.

2011-04-26T13:33:00.000-07:00

Ever have one of those days where things are going amazingly in the morning and then, for some inexplicable reason, something just falls on you and leaves you feeling weighted down, depressed, and just can't shake that feeling of sadness?

Yah. That was my morning. Going amazingly. And then, a few hours into work, mood went down. I can pinpoint a few things, but this whole month has just been one of....high moments among a steady low. But things will get better. They always do, they always will, and in the meantime I just keep on walking and fighting.

Speaking of high points!

This weekend is my hubby's birthday! To celebrate, I'm taking him to Benihana tonight, we're having friends over on Saturday for a BBQ, and then Sunday going up to his aunt's place to hang out with her and his cousin for the afternoon/evening (Missing those of you who aren't here!) ! We're really looking forward to all of it! Him especially, of course. I picked up a few small gifts for him that he'll love, and am otherwise just planning on doting on him for this week/weekend. It's his birthday, I want to make it special. Though he already got his big birthday gift a couple weekends ago.

Thankfully, it's almost May (holy crap, it's almost MAY), and summer's nearly here which means our cruise is coming up! Which we'll have all paid off of by June, so we can enjoy the summer, save up for extra stuff on the cruise, and just relax.

That's the plan at least.

Back

2011-03-21T16:02:00.000-07:00

Hello there,

It's been a while. Almost two whole months. I look back on the last couple months and honestly? Nothing really exciting has happened. Life has gone on.

Last week, I bought a Galaxy Tab from T-mobile. I had been getting rather annoyed--well, not quite annoyed, frustrated a little bit--with my netbook. It's about three-four years old, and is starting to wear down. It's running a bit slower, is a bit jerky when it comes to loading stuff, etc. And I had always liked the fully touch tablets that were coming out. So I started looking around, and found that one. The best price was through tmobile along with a data plan for it, which is incredibly useful since I can then access stuff while on the road, and it's what I was looking for to begin with. I got it last week and absolutely love it! I think one of my favorite things is the googe ereader app. I'm catching up on classics I haven't read yet. I also got a calorie counter to help me keep watch what I'm eating, and Hubby downloaded Angry Birds and we've been having fun with that too.

This week Hubby and I are seeing Suckerpunch in IMAX. I got a great deal through livingsocial.com, so the tickets only cost us 9.50! That's a never going to get IMAX tickets for that price ever again kind of deal. Then Hubby's birthday is coming up, and I've been plotting. I think he'll have fun.

We're also starting to pay off our cruise (have it all budgeted!) so that when June rolls around, it's all paid for and all we have to "worry" about is extra money for fun. That will be such a relief. We are both really looking forward to this vacation and cruise. Hard to believe it'll be celebrating three years of marriage! Where has the time gone?

So anyway, that's kind of all that's been going on. I'm still having to deal with a lot of stuff, but nothing I'll go into on here. Things have gotten better and are continuing to look up.

I don't honestly know how much I'll keep up with this blog for now. I haven't been in a very blogging kind of mood. We'll see.

One Quick Thing

2011-02-06T21:32:00.000-08:00

I know I know I said I wasn't going to be coming back until I had figured some stuff out. Still am working on that one, but I was excited and wanted to post.

Last week, hubby and I did some budgeting, got some extra unexpected funds, and paid the down-payment on our cruise for this year's anniversary! We had such a blast last time, that we decided we wanted to go again. And so, we paid the down payment and now have a few months to pay off the rest of it, and be able to save up for fun stuff on it too!

VERY EXCITED!!!

New Year

2011-01-30T20:30:00.000-08:00

So far, this new year hasn't really turned into what I'd hoped it would. Of course, it's only January (barely) still. I'm hoping things will change in the near future.

Because of some personal things, I am not going to be blogging for...well....as long as I need. There are some things I need to work out and deal with, and that definitely does not include ranting about them on here.

So for now, I am taking a hiatus from this blogosphere. I shall return later, hopefully in a better place emotionally and spiritually.

Until then.

End of the Year

2010-12-31T16:18:00.000-08:00

As this year comes to a close, I am amazed at how quickly it's flown by. It felt so long during the days, but suddenly it's the last day of 2010.

I took some time yesterday to read over my blogs from this year as well as look through my journals. And what I've realized and remembered is that this year has had its ups and downs, though honestly has felt like a pretty bleh year, for me at least. Nothing too amazing happened, lots of things that we wanted to, didn't. I struggled with a lot of things, lost some good friends for various reasons, and overall it's just been hard.

However, there's been great things that have happened, and that's what I will think about when I think of this year. We moved into a wonderful condo that has continually blessed us and feels like home. It has served us very well, and has enabled us to help out friends when needed as well as have friends be able to stay over and hang out.

I have been able to figure out what I'm doing with my life. I started at a CC in Early Childhood Education, and have been loving it. I cannot wait to finish up the units so that I can become a preschool teacher. I miss working with kids, and I have loved learning about how they develop and grow.

My hubby and I celebrated 2 years together by going on a cruise, which we've decided to try to do every year. It was such a blessing to relax and be together with no worries for 9 1/2 days, also the longest vacation we've taken together. As I've said, we're going to do it again this year and boy are we looking forward to it!

I am also so happy to see how much we've grown together, even more so than last year. We've pushed, helped, encouraged, and otherwise enabled each other to grow and become confident in who we are. He loves me and I love him, no matter what, and there is such freedom that comes with that.

Personally, I've become stronger in who I am and more confident. I've had some hard things go on this year and I've had to do a lot of soulsearching, but I am (finally) completely content in who I am. Not that I think I don't have any more growing to do (HA!). But I am honestly content in being me. I used to get so freaked out cause I couldn't figure out who I was or what I was or who I should be, etc etc etc, and I've finally just come to the conclusion that I am me, with all of my good things and bad things (that I'm working on), with all my ups and downs, "warts and all", and I don't need to pin myself in those specific words in a box to describe me.

I picked Gypsy as my word to describe this year. And I initially chose that because I thought I would have a lot of changes coming along, mostly in the physical practical sense. The only huge physical "change" in my life was that I switched schools to one nearer my condo. I then thought that I didn't really "live" this year as a Gypsy, like I thought I would. But...the more I think on it, the more I realize that that's completely untrue. While I didn't have too much new physical things happen (Moving once and switching schools), this has been the year of me growing in who I am. I've become content in who I am, what that means, what's important to me, and how I show that. I've learned to love people in different ways, I've taken control of issues that I needed to, and I've let myself change as I've needed. I know who I am and I am happy and content. I know I'll keep growing, but I don't know how much HUGE change will happen like the mental work that did this year. We shall see.

I've gotten closer to friends, grown apart from them, and made new ones. I've gotten closer to my in-loves and have been so blessed to be accepted into their family. I've grown in my love for my husband in such deep ways that it's hard to explain in words. And I've reached that stage where I accept who I am (I know, I've said this a lot, but it's a huge deal to me!), and I love it.

So here's to 2010. You've been a hard but growing year, with your own ups and downs and frustrations and satisfactions.

Let's see where 2011 takes us and what it brings. I need to think up a word for you but for now, I'm just content in relaxing in the last few hours of 2010.

Have a wonderful evening, have fun, and be safe.

Cheers!

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-24T14:08:00.000-08:00

Not a long post today but just wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas!!

Hope your holidays are wonderful and blessed.

Lots of love,

Aaron and Beth

<3<3

Better late than never and bits in between.

2010-12-13T10:12:00.000-08:00

Oh my gosh, you guys, I totally forgot to do a post about the fact this past Friday was Lover's and I's anniversary of our first date! It's been 4 years since we first went out! So I guess I'll have to do it now, and go "Better late than never!"

So. Friday, the 10th, was our fourth anniversary of being together. Four years ago on that day (It was a Sunday), after church, Lover took me on the Metro down to Downtown to "study" and hang out. He had me at "8 story library". So we studied and wandered the library for a while, and then went up to Hollywood for dinner (amazing beefdip sandwich place that is now our favorite ever!), and then Universal CityWalk where he bought me my first Dodger cap (cue the "dawwww"s). We--actually, he--spent entirely too much money on me on that first date, but oh man, was it fun! A year after that, we were in Laguna where he proposed and of course I said yes!

I can hardly believe it's been four years. It doesn't feel that long, and yet, I can barely remember what my life was like without him. I am so happy, and it honestly feels like I've been with him my whole life. We've grown and matured together. We've helped each other become who we are and comfortable/confident in who we are. He loves me for who I am, all of me, and I love him for the same reasons. We complete each other, push each other to grow, and otherwise fit together. I can't imagine going through Life with anyone else. He encourages me to follow my dreams, pursue my interests, and to do the silly things I enjoy doing.

So here's to us, Darling. Four years and stronger than ever, I can hardly believe this will be our 5th Christmas together. I love you, darling boy.

<3

******************************************************************************************

Also, in celebration of our anniversary and such, Thursday night we went out to Benihana for dinner. Oh my goodness, such great amazing food. So yummy! We also sat at a table with another friendly awesome couple, so we chatted joked the entire dinner. Then Friday night, we had our office Christmas Party, which was a blast with such great food. I also got my Christmas gift from my boss (yay bonus!!), and then Saturday, we left bright and early to head off to San Diego. Where I spent the day with my girlfriends, and Lover went up to do some fun things with teh guys.

I got to have tea/lunch/coffeedate with my best friend. We were able to chat, hang out, relax, and otherwise just get some much needed time together. We have such great conversations together and needed to hang out badly. I also got to better meet her son (OMG so cute!). We went on a walk, exchanged presents (she got me a gorgeous wall calendar!), and otherwise just relaxed with each other. It was lovely.

Then I met up with another friend to go shopping at the Nordstrom Rack. Oh my goodness, so many amazing clothes! I got my first pair of jeggings (Yes I know) that when I put on Lover's eyes went HUGE in that way that tells me I look great. I also found an adorable purple military style jacket, another cute sweater/layering thing, an amazing sexy librarian dress, a gorgeous black lacy tunic, and these gorgeous red heels for more than 1/2 off their original price!! I love this store, and thus my pocketbook is going to hate me.

Again, it was such a great time of hanging out and getting some much needed girl-time. We exchanged gifts as well (She got me adorable lipgloss, gloves, socks to go with my oxford's, and a really lovely bottle opener). All of us then met up to do dinner, and it was a lovely raucous time together.

Overall, a much needed wonderful weekend! I am so glad it all worked out.

This week is going to be incredibly busy and fun as Lover's family is coming into town on Friday, and then Christmas is in a week. I need to decorate and clean and bake some more. Eep! I also have some fun shopping trips planned, and other stuff.

That was my weekend. Better late than never with a little bit in between. ;)

Happy Friday!!!!!!!!!!

2010-11-12T22:02:00.000-08:00

So, today was one of those odd days. We had weekend plans, were excited for them, and then basically decided that it wasn't really what we wanted to do. So we changed them. Now just hanging out with Hubby and Cousin. Which is also nice.

I've been dealing with some pretty severe loneliness, and lately, it's been causing me to take it out on the people I love, mainly Hubby. Which has been hard for both of us, but thankfully we've been able to have some good talks because of it. I love the relationship I have with him. We're so intune with each other, we can sometimes read each other's minds. ....Ok, maybe not that much, but we are very intune. To the point of talking without doing anything besides looking and raising an eyebrow.

.....Heh. I actually got the relationship that Sheldon and Davy had. I always wanted that.

But! The weekend is looking up. We get our "spending/play" money tomorrow, and I'm going shopping. I'm dying my hair tonight. A light golden brown. Specifically for dark hair colors. It'll most likely have some red in it from the red, but I'm excited. I'm also getting my nails done at a new place tomorrow morning, as well as going shopping tomorrow. I'm hoping to find some sales, but what I really "need" to get are a couple good pairs of leggings (for work and fun), some new girly items (mine have all worn out), and.....I'm going to be looking at some jeggings.. I know, I know. I swore I would never look at those, but I saw some really cute ones at Nordstrom's and I was done for. Literally done for. They're soft and durable!

I'm also venturing, for the first time, officially into Forever 21 to do shopping. Iv'e wandered in and out of there with friends, but never to actually shop for myself. I figure two things might happen. I'll either adore the place and refuse to go anywhere else, or I'll hate it. I'm going for the former, given I have been in there before and I really loved most of the stuff I saw.

I also want to buy some new shoes. All (and I do mean all) of my high heels have broken. As in, full on heel SNAPPED on me at work. That's kind of a problem when I need to wear heels at work. So, time to find new ones. Though I'm thinking Target and/or Payless for those. I'm not a fan on spending 100 bucks on a pair of shoes unless they're amazing (And no, I haven't found a pair that amazing yet!). Though I am eyeing some awesome boots from Fredericks that would almost be there....but going to wait for now.

Oh, and eating has been going well. I'm not quite at eating every three hours, but I'm definitely getting there. I've also been counting calories and noticing more, which is helping me eat better. I'm more aware of what and how much I'm putting into my body. Also, as a reader pointed out, 3500 calories equals a pound. By cutting down to 1468 or less calories a day, I'm cutting out about 500-600 calories of my diet, which means over the course of a week, losing 3500 calories or a pound a week. Pretty cool, isn't it?

So, what I ate today:

Oatmeal 160
Yogurt: 180
Mocha Frap Light: 160! (I am so glad I found that out!)
Hardboiled egg:78
Dinner: 800

Total: 1378!

I might get a snack later....we shall see.

ALSO! My amazing maidofhonor/bestfriend is due TOMORROW. I am soooo excited for her and her hubby! They're expecting a little son who should arrive anyday now. At least, we hope. He seems to be taking his time and enjoying it. ;)

Eating Better

2010-11-11T16:56:00.000-08:00

So, I am starting a new thing. I am going to count calories (*gasp!*) and eat every three hours. Why, you may ask? To lose more weight, silly! Also, it's healthier. And I've noticed a change in how I am at work, just doing it for two days. I'm more alert, more relaxed, and not starving by the time lunch or dinner rolls around, thus not gorging myself on food.

So, I'm going to do my best to post on here every day what I ate that day. And hopefully, this will work!

A person of my height and weight, to lose weight, needs to eat about 1468 calories a day. Doable, I think, given I don't eat too much to begin with.

So today, I ate:

Oatmeal: 160
Tea: 1
Kudos Bar: 100
Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate: 300 (So sad!)
Yogurt: 160
Dinner: Guess around 600.
Kudos Bar: 100

Total: 1421!

Apparently, if I do this, I should lose a pound a week. Let's see! Maybe once I'm a bit lower I'll be brave enough to post my weight. For now, no thank you!

Glee Sectionals

2010-11-07T19:31:00.000-08:00

I know what you're thinking. You're wondering what I'm talking about. Well, let me explain.

Last Wednesday, Glee on Facebook did a status update of basically the first 200 people to email the address they had posted would get 2 tickets to see the "Sectionals" recording. Naturally, I leaped on it, unsure of whether or not I would actually win. I thought I had a decent chance given that it had just been posted a minute or two beforehand. Well, Thursday comes and I hit up lunch rather late. Thus far, no email saying I had won. I just assumed I had missed it, like I had the last time. I took a nap over lunch and woke up a bit earlier than I needed to. I checked my phone and saw an email from an address I didn't recognize with allcaps CONFIRMATION. I opened it up and saw that yes, indeed, I had WON TICKETS. I was, needless to say, freaking out. I hurriedly texted a friend of mine to see if she could come with me.

Lots of squeeing and freaking out and rearranging schedules later, and Friday afternoon at 2:15, we were off on our way to Glendale to watch the recording of Glee Sectionals.

We got there about 3:15-3:30ish (hit not as much traffic as I'd expected) and found a gloriously close parking spot (seriously, we should not have found it!), and lined up. And proceeded to wait for 2 1/2 hours. They didn't let us into the theater until about 6:15 where we got seated up in the balcony and waited. We saw them setting everything up, we were extremely excited. And then all of a sudden, I glanced up to see Chris Colfer standing right by the railing before going down to the edge of balcony to do Q/A. He answered several questions and was very funny and nice. Then he had to run to get into costume. And from there, we saw several of the other stars, and got to hear them record the Sectionals performances!!

It was freaking amazing.

And let me tell you....Sectionals is going to be epic. And have a LOT of surprises. Which I can't tell you. The songs are wonderful, the performances gorgeous, and there are several surprises in it that are going to knock your socks off.

We were there until 11:00pm. We didn't even notice the time when we got in there. We didn't get home until about midnight where I passed out rather quickly after gushing to my hubby who doesn't watch so it was ok.

The episode won't air until December 7th, but OH MY GOODNESS!! I still can't believe I was there and got to see it! So keep an eye out! You might see me up in the balcony!

And by the way,

I totally have the program to prove it too!

P.s. No, you can't see it. That's cheating!

But..... *squee*

Of course this is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean it is not real?

2010-10-25T09:55:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been almost a month since I last talked with you. I would love to say that's because life has been crazy and busy and going going going....

But.

In reality, it's just been going, and not very exciting and nothing worthwhile to actually blog about. (I don't even want to think about the last time I journaled was! I should get back to that too....).

October is nearly over. When on earth did that happen? All of a sudden, November is suddenly saying hello. The weather certainly has been feeling that sudden as well. It almost just decided, "Oh you know what, it's almost November. We should probably stop mucking about", and now it's been rainy and cloudy and chilly for the last two weeks. Needless to say, I am loving this weather!

Saturday was one busy long day, but in a really fun way. I had a baby shower and a birthday party! (No, not for me.)

The baby shower was in honor of my dear friend and also Maid of Honor who is due in 3 weeks! The shower was lovely and not too crazy. It was also simply wonderful to be able to see her and hang out. Her little boy is about ready to come any day now, which is very exciting! It's always interesting to think back and realize how much we've done and been through together. I remember one summer visiting Hubby who was living on campus at the time and meeting her outside the doors and her excitedly showing me the picture of the wedding gown she had just gotten. Seems like such a long time ago that we were both planning our weddings and getting excited and overjoyed about being married, and now it's been over 2 years for me, a year for her, and she's about to become a momma. Wow. Time flies.

The birthday party was for another dear friend (whose birthday is technically tomorrow). She wanted to have an autumnal celebration/birthday party where everyone would bring a favorite autumnal food or drink and also a poem/story to read. While I was thinking last week on what to bring on both accounts, I remembered when I was younger, we used to always make this delicious mini-pumpkin muffins. I didn't have the recipe but hey, google is awesome. Then I had to figure out what story or poem to bring. As I was browsing through my books and I couldn't settle on anything, I finally decided that I would just write one for her. I meant to do a short story but it turned into a poem. I then read it aloud (which always makes me nervous, because I'm terrified that no one will like it), and got the couple seconds pause when it was done and then clapping and a few "Wow"'s. So I felt a bit better. Overall, it was wonderful to celebrate autumn and her birthday! I was blessed to be a part of it and got to meet and catch up with some new and old friends.

This week is proving to be very very busy. Tonight I have class, as usual. Tomorrow is the Glee Rocky Horror Picture Show episode which I am so excited for. I'm going to a friend's house tomorrow night to watch the original and then the show episode, because a few other people are also coming who haven't seen the original, and that just won't do. Then Wednesday, we have another dear friend coming over for sketti and garlic bread and salad and wine and lots of relaxing and hanging out. Thursday I have nothing going on except lots of cleaning because Friday evening, J&C&C are coming to hang out!! I am so excited to see them and to visit. We haven't seen them since my birthday, so I'm very excited. Plus this will give me the excuse and buddy to watch our hubbies interact and just shake our heads. Hehe.

Then on Saturday, I'm collapsing and sleeping in. Well, it depends on if our guests stay the evening or not. If they do, then we'll probably get up to go on a walk, have some coffee, and then hit up Crepes and Grapes. If not, then definitely collapsing. Oh. Right. It's Hallowe'en, isn't it? Well, I have no idea what we're doing for that weekend. At all. I have a costume (yay!), but nothing to go to. So we shall see, I suppose.

Finances are finally clearing up and getting settled. We're finally just about caught up from the cruise, which threw us off for most of September, as we figured it would. By the 15th, though, we'll be much more settled. Just have those last few bills to take care of. But just in time for the holidays! Which, by the way, are coming up way too fast. But it does mean Christmas music and lots of goodies and treats and amazing food. You know, I should probably go get that gym membership as soon as possible.... Hehe.

Speaking of which, when our finances are finally settled, we'll have some extra cash that we decided to split each paycheck for us to use as we would like. (After paying off all the bills and such, of course). I'm very excited, cause it means I can go out and get the books I've been wanting to get and the random shoes and clothes I haven't gotten because they haven't been a need so much as a fun want. So yes. Now I shall be able to get some of the fun wants I would like as well as stop changing my hair all the time because I shall be getting some more fun things to do. Oh, the one thing I am going to do to my hair though is come December ish (going to give it another month or so), I'm going to have it done professionally and dye it light brown with blond highlights, so I can go back to being blonde with some fun red streaks. Actually, depending on how light my hair gets in December, might just do straight blonde. We shall see. Have also decided that I am going to once again attempt to grow it out. I miss being able to braid it and put it up in a ponytail and otherwise have fun long hair. We'll see how long this lasts of course. But, patience is a good virtue to practice, I suppose. Besides, I've pretty much feel like I've run the gambit of short hairstyles to do and I haven't really found one I love.

I'm going to start a new thing today, and it will be called:

Things that Amuse (and by amuse, I mean annoy generally) Me At Work:

1. Having FedEx attempt to deliver a package at 7:20AM on a Monday. We're a business. Logically, this makes sense, right?
2. No one loads their dishes into the dishwasher. Ever. Or rinses them for that matter. So I come back from lunch to find the entire sink FULL with an empty dishwasher.
3. Any--and I do mean any--issue that happens at work is my fault and magically I'm supposed fix it instantaneously. Case in point: The internet was down last week for a couple of days. I called Tech Support, spent a good hour on the line with them before they told me that the soonest they could get a tech out was 7pm that night. When we close at 5. So next day it would be, between 8-5, which is normal for tech support people. Cue the angry and yelling of some of the attorneys, one of whom called my boss at home to complain. It all worked out in the end, but really?
4. Getting told that in order to fix something, can't you just wiggle the doohickey and unplug-plug in the whatchamacallit?
5. Having to hit the printer in order to fix the LCD screen on it. Per the tech on the phone's request.
6. The coffee bought by the non-coffee drinker and decides bulk is better than flavor.
7. No one actually puts the next roll of toilet paper on the holder. Ever.
8. Typing up my boss's Bible Studies.
9. The way the office goes to pieces when I'm sick and there's no one there to make coffee or answer the phones. *Gasp!*
10. Last but not least, the insane senile old lady who calls and leaves messages on every machine at all hours of the day. Today, I had 98 of them. On one of the machines.

And that, is all I have for now, folks. I will post the poem I wrote for my friend a bit later. I actually typed it up on a typewriter, so I need to type it up to save on my netbook. Which I shall do over lunch, I think.

Here's to actually blogging a bit more regularly. If I start getting new stuff, I probably shall if only to post pictures and get all excited over them.

P.s. I also finished rereading Book7 last week. And I cried. The movie comes out on the 19th. I am SO EXCITED!!!

Feeling New

2010-10-01T17:19:00.000-07:00

(I'm sure you're all wondering what the heck the title is about. Hang on, you'll find out soon enough)

So, I haven't updated in a while. In fact, quite a while. I just haven't felt like I've had anything worthwhile to say, honestly. Life hasn't seemed exciting and, I must admit, I've been in a bit of a funk. Life has just seemed, well, rather dull lately. Work, school, eat, sleep. Over and over and over and over again.

But.

I have exciting things (well, I think they're exciting at least) to talk about.

A few weeks ago (almost 4 now), I decided I wanted to switch birth controls. The appeal of going for three months without the dreaded she-who-will-not-be-named-time was great, I must admit. I did a lot of research as well, though, because I'm not a fan of screwing around with my hormones anymore than necessary. What I discovered was that it is healthier for you, better for your body, and has no more severe side effects than any other birth control. So I decided to take the plunge and I switched to Seasonique.

Oh guys, if there are any reading this, you might want to just skip over the next paragraph if you're squeamy about girlish times of the month talk. Just know switching birth control has made me feel better and healthier than I've felt in a while.

And let me tell you, I noticed differences in about three days off of the Patch and on Seasonique. My body felt better, I've lost weight (I'll go into that more later), I have no moodswings besides the normal frustrations, my skin is softer, I have no more migraines. I'm not bloated and things are firming up that I didn't expect to. Seriously. Hubby is noticing. Overall, I feel amazing. My body feels like it's evened out, so to speak. And the funny thing is I never realized how much the Patch had been messing with me until I got off of it. I just thought I needed to "power through the bad days" because it's birth control, so of course it'll cause weird things. Boy was I wrong.

Which leads me into the weight loss.

I've been on a "diet" of sorts for the past four-five weeks. I decided that I was giving up carbs (breads and pastas), sugars (mostly candy and soda), and most dairy products. Which left me with eating lots of protein, fruits, veggies, and yogurt. Now, I do cheat. Sometimes. (C'mon, garlic bread?) But the point is more that I'm concentrating on not eating them as regularly as I have been, especially for snacks and lunchtimes at work. Which means I've been eating yogurt for breakfast and a hardboiled egg with veggies for lunch, usually. Or some yummy chicken with garlic and veggies. That sort of thing.

Now, to clarify, I have done some dieting off and on since the beginning of the summer, but haven't ever really found anything that worked long term for me. I'd lose some, then I'd stop and gain it back.

But, that yo-yo dieting included, I have lost a good 18 pounds. I'm still curvy (obviously), and I still have a bit of a belly because, well, I've come to grips that I probably will always have a belly bump of some sort. But that's not the point. The point is I've lost 18 pounds, 10 of which in the last 4-5 weeks.

Mix that with the new birthcontrol, and I really do feel new. My body doesn't feel weighted down anymore because of all the evil trans-fats and carb heavy food I was eating. I feel healthy. I feel wonderful.

And I seriously do blame Seasonique and the change in diet.

I haven't felt this good in years. And people are noticing (not just Hubby, either!). It's wonderful.

Oh, and this past week we got to see our best friend and her hubby from up north for a visit. Which was lovely. We got to reconnect. Though I miss her terribly (we both do). So skype dates it is!

Also, I got my hair cut. It's awesome. I look like Ramona Flowers from Scott Pilgrim (without the bubblegum pink....my boss would have a cow if I showed up for work with it that color. Sad panda).

All that to say. I'm feeling better than I have in a long while. It's awesome.

So that's my update for now. I'll get better at updating daily instead of bi-weekly.

P.s. Ok. Thunderstorms and pouring rain....in October. Last week it was 115. What. The. Hell. 0_0

Sick and corsets

2010-09-16T11:29:00.000-07:00

This week was one of those weeks. Not really bad, necessarily, but not good either. Monday, I got paid (yay!). Tuesday, I got up to go to work, felt a bit ill, and went, "Nah, I'll be fine. I'll just make sure to grab some medicine over lunch." Two hours in, I could barely stand up straight and my head and sinuses felt like they were attempting to explode out of my head. I told Hubby that I was going home. Well, around 2:30 I get a call from Hubby going, "I'm sick. Please pick me up". I got up from my sleep, dressed (barely), and drove to grab him. Then we got home and passed out until 9pm. We then woke up, made breakfast for dinner, and passed out again. Yesterday, we both got up feeling alright and went to work. I had steadily felt better but Hubby steadily was feeling worse again. We got home, I went to visit a friend (more on that in a bit). When I got home last night, Hubby was in bed already with a huge migraine. When I woke up this morning, he had a fever, so I ordered him to stay at home. Thus the reason I am now at work, by myself, bored, and wishing I were home comforting Hubby.

The visit with my friend last night was a lot of fun. We were supposed to meet up in Anaheim to go dancing but sadly, the club had closed for the week. So on the way home, when I was bummed out about it, Hubby suggested I call her and go hang out. So I did. We hung out, made coffee with my whipped cream, had brownies, watched youtube videos, chatted, and otherwise just hung out. It was amazing. Also, she had me try on one of her corsets she bought at a Ren Faire a while back. Let me tell you, it was the real deal. Bone and practically knee in the back tightening. It was amazing. And gorgeous. I was born in the wrong century.

Alrighty. Urgent project to finish up. Bleh.

Account of Anniversary Adventure Number Two!

2010-09-04T12:09:00.000-07:00

Because I know you've all been waiting, here is the Anniversary Adventure Account. Or something like that.

To begin, that weekend we did most of our packing. I got most of mine done as I did laundry Friday evening/Saturday morning. It was a lot less stressful than I expected and I ended up not forgetting anything! w00t!

Saturday was spent relaxing, cleaning, packing, and otherwise getting ready to go. That afternoon, we had a dear friend come visit and also ran to BIOLA to drop off keys to my best friend who had agreed to come over to take care of Alice and pick up our mail, etc. I crashed by 2AM. Hubby didn't come to bed till....5? I think. Which was fine because he never can sleep before vacation anyway.

Sunday morning saw us both up by 9 to be ready for our friend picking us up at 10:30. She arrived right on time and we said goodbye to Alice, loaded everything up, locked the doors, and were off! The drive took about 20-30 minutes, little traffic (thank goodness!). Made a quick stop at WalMart to take out some cash and also pick up a few essentials that we needed. Then she dropped us off at the dock and we checked in and then....waited. Because we had gotten there early, our check-in number was 3, which meant we only had to wait an hour before they called us to start going aboard. After two things of security of course.

The ship was beautiful. Like a regular city. When we got on board, we were instructed to go up to Deck 9 (Lido) to get some food from the buffet, enjoy drinks until the rooms were opened (about another hour and a half later). Hubby "ordered" me to stay at our table while he went to go arrange our room. Then he came back and led me in. It was perfect. Tiny, of course, because it was an inner stateroom but just wonderful!! And we were on Deck9, about 30 seconds from the pool and buffet. Did I forget to mention? Hehe.

We unpacked and then went back to the Deck because we had a meetup with some people we had been talking to on a cruise forum. It was interesting and fun. I also got a drink at the bar (this amazing pina colada type with strawberry in it!) and ended up chatting with this older Aussie who was traveling on the ship too. That was loads of fun. Aaron went exploring and I just relaxed. Come 8:15 was dinnertime and we were already setting sail for Mexico! And come around then...I started getting seasick. So I went to the store, bought some anti-seasick meds and slept until Monday morning where I woke up refreshed and feeling totally normal again!

Monday: It was our anniversary. So to celebrate we slept in, relaxed, went swimming (pool was freezing), hottubbing, and otherwise just enjoyed being together. Aaron had made reservations for us at the Steak House that night. We got all dressed up and showed up promptly at 7:15 and were seated with little waiting. Let me tell you, this was the best meal I have ever had. It started out with hot handmade bread for you to munch on with three different kinds of spread to put on it. Then a complimentary item from the chef (I got this tomato soup and Aaron got a lobster something or other). Then, when you're ready to order, the waiter comes and does a fullon meat presentation of what you could get, going over the types of meat what cut it was, how it was cooked, etc. Talk about making you hungry! Aaron ended up getting a filet mignon (I think), and I got Surf and Turf, which was a 4oz filet mignon and half a lobster tail. The first course was an appetizer of your choosing (I got mushrooms! Hubby got soup), and the second was salad. The third was your entrée with a side dish (mushrooms for me again, baked potato for Hubby). Let me tell you, everything melted in your mouth and has gorgeous presentation. Half the time it was too pretty to eat. Then the course was dessert. Hubby ordered cheesecake. Oh my goodness. The thing looked like a slice of cake but was the lightest cheesecake I have ever tasted. Totally divine. I got a mix of sorbet and icecream, all handmade.

Frankly, don't remember much after that. We didn't finish dinner until 9:30pm (yes, a two hour affair!). We then wandered around and relaxed. Unfortunately, I passed out by 11 (this is a reoccuring theme. I blame the no windows and lack of couch in our room).

Tuesday: This was our second day at sea, and while we were having a great time, we both were looking forward to getting our feet on land again on Wednesday. Tuesday we had designated our relax and watch shows and "play" day. So we wandered around, got food, and chatted with people. It was really lovely and a lazy day, which was wonderful. We ate at the dining room Tuesday evening. It was lovely. And our waiter (because you have the same waiter and busboy, in our case girl for the week) asked if I was feeling better and told him very much so. The dining there was so nice and also very classy. I don't remember what I ate, but I know it was yummy, as everything was. During this time, I'd also developed a taste for tea and was drinking it constantly, which I think also helped my upset stomach (not upset anymore). That evening we saw one of the shows at 10:15. It was a rather fun dance production, kind of like what you would see in Vegas.

Wednesday: Ah! Port day! This was Puerto Vallarta, which was a huge shopping area, apparently, for jewels and such. For Hubby and I (who weren't interested in that type of thing), it was a day to wander around. Despite the awful humidity. We were off the ship by about eleven, hit up an internet cafe that was right across the street, and then wandered about. We found this good taco stand, and then decided that it was hot, not much to do when you're not shopping, and went back on board. I also bought a ring from one of the sellers on the way back and bargained him down. Well, Hubby did. It was fun.

We really wanted to do some sort of excursion that included snorkeling or kayaking. So we looked at them all and decided to do on in Mazatlan (next day) where we got to go to this private island with provided lunch and drinks, wander around, hike, and kayak around the island. It was one of the cheaper ones and one of the ones we wanted to try, so we signed up for it. Very exited.

Thursday: We got up bright and early for our excursion to embark. Already we noticed the day was going to be muggy and humid. We arrived at 9AM in the Spectacular Lounge to get instructions for our excursion. They didn't arrive until 9:30AM and they came with bad news. Apparently, because of the tropical storms brewing, the port was closed, along with the beaches. So no kayaking for us because it was too dangerous. Incredibly disappointed (but money refunded!), we decided to just go back to bed. And slept through Mazatlan. Yes, you read that right. We slept through it. Woke up at 6pm and went, "Oh....guess we were tired..." Then we got hungry early, so decided to hit up the buffet instead of the dining room (word to the wise: Do early dining.).

Friday: Ah, today was Cabo! The shortest port but also the prettiest! We both were highly excited to be going ashore, hoping to swim and snorkel in the Sea of Cortez. Sadly, during breakfast, they announced that there was a red flag on shore, which meant the beaches were closed. No swimming, snorkeling, or kayaking. We were pretty disappointed (especially Hubby. He had really wanted to go swimming in the Sea of Cortez). However, we went ashore by 10AM, taking a thing called a Tender, and ended up wandering some fun markets, through the mall, and we also decided to do a glass-bottom-boat tour! It was fun, though not the same as swimming. Got to see a school of barracuda! And sea lions. We also did most of our shopping there. I got a dress and a rosary. Hubby got our friend a Viking helmet. All in all, it was a lot of fun and hot. I also got sunburned on my back but it turned into a tan, whee!!

We were back on the boat by 2pm, and decided with our refunded money to go back to the steakhouse, to experience it again. We also got massages because they were doing a special sale. Oh my goodness, they were wonderful and so very relaxing.

Saturday: This was our last official day on board. Which made us incredibly sad. We got up, relaxed, didn't start packing (whoops!). This day we just spent doing lots of nothing special. We got ready for dinner around 7 and decided to go wander about. We relaxed in this bar called "The Cool", listening to a jazz band play and got free drinks. We had a lovely meal, said goodbye to our waiter and busgirl from whom I got a huge hug from (cute Russian gal going home in the morning too!). After dinner, we were waiting for the club to get busy and ended up going into this bar called the Grand Piano Lounge. It had a guy in the middle of the bar playing piano. But it was a singalong and by that I mean when you sat down, he had a five page list of songs he knew. By heart. Talk about lots of fun! Then we walked past the club where we saw this girl sitting all alone. I wandered in and ended up chatting with her for a good two hours until the club started rocking. We exchanged info and she wants to hang out sometime soon (she's from a town not far from here). Then we went back to our cabin (About 2AM), and I packed. By that I mean I threw everything into my suitcase in no particular order.

Sunday: It dawned way too early, and before we knew it, we were debarking from the ship. Talk about sad. My best friend came to pick us up, and we were home.

Overall, an amazing trip, and one we want to do again next year!!!

Here's to two years, and on to the third one, which should be even more awesome!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-09-01T08:51:00.000-07:00

Today is my sister's Sweet Sixteen Birthday!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday, Natalie!!!!!!!!!!

Hope you have a wonderful day and it's the best one yet!!

Love from both of us!

Vacation!!!!

2010-08-21T13:13:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note in the middle of packing. Leaving on our cruise tomorrow and won't be back for a week!!!! So excited!

One whole week of not worrying about work or bills or anything. Also don't have to worry about food or gas or lodgings. All taken care of! Just need to "worry" about food in Mexico and anything else!

Monday marks two years of wonderful marriage to my amazing husband! Soo very happy.

Back to packing. Pictures and all that to come in a week or so when we're back.

Ta!

We should be lovers! We can't do that. We should be lovers...and that's a fact.

2010-08-06T15:22:00.000-07:00

It's about that time for another blogpost, though nothing interesting has gone on until now, I suppose. Or rather, just been incredibly busy that I haven't had a chance to post. Something like that.

First off, last weekend and this past couple of days we've had a friend over along with his little 3 1/2 year old daughter. Who is Adorable. She is now talking in full sentences and it's the cutest thing I have ever seen. Also adorable when she ran up to Hubby and went, "PPOOOKEEE!!!" and poked him with her finger, and he then lifted her up and started tickling her to which she started shrieking in laughter. A. Dorable. And for the record, Hubby will be an amazing father someday. I cannot wait.

My Birthday is on Tuesday. I will be 23. Odd thing, that. Aaron was Plotting....and then it got slipped to me what he's doing for me. Ah well. All I know is we're going down to San Diego so I can have an amazing coffee date with my girlfriends who just had babies (hello!!!!), and apparently he's still finalizing stuff. So the surprise is still there. Though I probably will be a silly girl and bring the presents I've been holding for the babies for the last couple of months, even if it's my birthday. But I enjoy giftgiving, so there!

Also, day of my birthday (well, evening), I am going thrifting with Kitty who is going to help me pick out outfits for under 25 bucks! So excited! Though priority is a pair of either red or black heels, and to look at the boots. I'm excited to go shopping and to be creative about it! Hoping to find some good outfits to wear on the cruise. Which is in two weeks and 2 days, by the way!

So yesterday, my boss and his wife took me and Hubby out to lunch for my birthday. Because they will be on vacation in Hawaii until the 18th or 19th, so they wanted to celebrate with me. I got this amazing fruit concoction as a birthday dessert. It was some of the best tasting watermelon I have ever had. Literally melted in your mouth. Soo good!

Those are palm trees and little birds carved into the fruit, by the way. My boss got me (well, his wife more) this amazing fun loose black scarf and a set of notepads along with a book. Very fun afternoon. Plus amazing food at this Chinese place. Chicken in garlic sauce with fried rice, yum!!

This week has bee an interesting one, that's for sure. I think I'll purposefully not bring up anything about Prop 8 except that I think there are probably other things that ought to be getting as much if not more focus. Such as child abuse, which is rampant in our fair state. Also, if one little bill getting overturned makes your marriage less meaningful, you probably have more pertinent issues to be worried about. Just saying.

Anyway.

I'm not a fan of getting in the middle of big debates, usually, mostly because I've found the "more reasonable in the middle people" are the ones who get ignored and the really extremes are the ones that always get the attention. So. I'll just go on my merry little way now.

Looking forward to the next two weeks. Lots of exciting things happening. Tomorrow I'm going to the beach with some girlfriends. Tuesday is my birthday and I'm off shopping (as I already said). Then Thursday is hanging out with friends, Friday evening is going out with a couple coworkers to celebrate our birthdays which are just a couple days apart, then Saturday is the "actual" celebration....and then one week until our Cruise!! Which will probably be the longest week of our lives. Besides maybe the week before our wedding, except that flew past too quickly and stressed me out. So perhaps not.

Oh. And also, I have decided to grow my hair out again. I know. Shocking. Well, not really shocking. I totally thought after cutting into a pixie cut I would Never Want to go back to long hair. At least, not for a long while. That obviously changed. Loved my short hair. Was very happy with it. Then my haircutter left for the summer to go back home (she's a student). Which meant it's been growing out for the last three months. Which means I actually really adore it. So. Long Hair it is, again. With Bangs! Also redying it but keeping that part a secret.

I also just finished up the Anniversary (2years!) present for my Hubby. Our Cruise is a bit of our present to each other, but I still love giving him things. So finished that up and hope he likes it. I'm sure he will. I also bought some fun new items for the cruise, just waiting for them to get delivered. The first being a vintage red and white polka dot bikini, with red trim. Gorgeous! Very vintage and 40s pin-up girl like! (Speaking of which, Why couldn't I have been born around that time? I'm the perfect body type for it! Seriously. Look. Btw, if anyone wanted to get me anything off of that site, I'd Love You Forever. ....hmm....maybe I should think about modeling Vintage Pin Up girl stuff.) The second being an awesome corset red/black dress. Smexy! Paired with fishnets and boots and all set.

That's what's been going on in my life currently. Been pretty good. Very content and happy and excited because it's finally in the two week countdown until vacation, and the next two weeks will be past before I know it. And then it will be vacation for a whole week! Sunday to Sunday. Yes!

I also just finished up reading Go Ask Alice, which was rather good. Very gut-wrenchingly real and heartbreaking, but very good. Journal of a 15yearold gal who got mixed up in drugs back in the 60s/70s, and her account of how it affected her. It was a good read, because you can only assume it's gotten worse since then, and that is very frightening, given how bad it was then. Go read it. Seriously.

By the way, mini receptionist rant: I just love when people call 3-6x a day and start asking me if I actually gave the message to the correct party. What am I supposed to say or think of that? "No, of course not. It's not like it's my job to make sure everyone gets their messages when they are received or something." I also just adore when people call a few times, asking the same question, and getting angry that the answer hasn't changed. You know, the whole, "Well, no, Sir, it hasn't changed since the last five minutes you called." Gah! Such is the life in some customer service job, but seriously. I sometimes wonder what is wrong with these people. On the bright side, it has made me incredibly clear, concise, and actually listen when I'm on the phone.

Well, enough from me rambling on and on. This blog post is really quite long enough now.

I am off for the night. Weekend begins in t-minus 60 minutes, and I am going to go enjoy a free dinner at Aculpulco with Hubby! And maybe a margarita too, we shall see.

Ta!

P.s. I'm also determined to one day have these shoes. I Will. They are just so sexy and womanly, how can you not want them?

I follow the night
Can't stand the light
When will I begin
To live again?

One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
What more could your Love do for me?
When will Love be through with me?

Why live life from dream to dream?
And dread the day when dreaming ends

One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
Why live life from dream to dream?
And dread the day when dreaming ends

One day I'll fly away
Fly, fly away

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--/ I took the one less traveled by, / And that has made all the difference. - Robert Frost

2010-07-26T13:42:00.000-07:00

So. This weekend was rather fun. We went into LA with some friends yesterday by way of Metro. Which is the only way to go, in my opinion. You get to see the sights and smells and atmosphere for the city way better than just driving around. Then again, I tend to love walking around big cities so you can feel the hum of it, with all the people and cars and trains and just everything.

Had an amazing time there. We wandered Olvera Street, the Biltmore, wandered up to the Bank Tower (which is pretty awesome close up, btw! The architecture is beautiful!), went up to Hollywood/Highland, ate at this wonderful sandwich place that makes The Best roast beef sandwiches with au jous I have Ever Tasted. Hands down. We always try to stop by there when we're wandering in LA. We, sadly, forgot to check the time for the LA Library so discovered it was closed when we got there (and that it's closed Sundays and Mondays now. Stupid budget cuts!), so we'll have to try again sometime. I have this feeling I'll be trying to go during the school year to study and do papers and such. That would be loads of fun, I think.

So, I spent all of last night unpacking and putting away our boxes upon boxes of books. I think there were seven-eight boxes. I went through them, put some in a box that we wanted to keep but didn't need to put up (like old school books, that sort of thing), and then another box was the ones to give away to the Little Old Bookstore. Well, we now have shelves of books up that look amazing, a full box to take to the bookstore, and still have one more bin I just didn't get to yet to finish up. But it's amazing that most of the clutter of boxes in our garage was just all the books. Now we have some other odds and ends of boxes to deal with. I'm going to move my desk this evening (with Hubby's help, of course) into our Office/Spare Room/Guest Room. And get my area of it set up, at least. And cleaned up, that way, when Hubby is ready to do his stuff, it'll be pretty simple and easy. Without both of us needing to be able to spread out to clean things up and all that. I'm excited, it's going to look great!

I've also been eating better and decided that I wanted to walk to my lunch everyday. It's been wonderful, because there's a Panera about a mile away that I walk to and from 3x a week, even if I don't eat there, and it has this beautiful outdoor patio to sit at. I've started slimming up, which is nice to realize. And also the walking helps me muse and think things out that I need to without concentrating on driving.

Also, my Birthday is coming up, about 2 weeks away. I'm turning 23. Hubby is apparently Plotting Something. I have no idea what, but I feel bad because I was talking about my BD and he finally just said, "I'm Plotting! Quit trying to figure something out to do!" I'm rather bad at getting surprised, I guess. I'm looking forward to seeing what he comes up with.

Feels like I'm starting a new chapter in my life right now.... With where I'm going in school, where we're at as a couple. We're celebrating 2 years in 3 weeks, I'm turning 23 in 2 weeks, and we're both figuring out our career paths, so to speak.

Speaking of Life. Been doing a lot of thinking about what I want to do. And I've come to the realization that I honestly don't want to do much else (right now, at least) than get a degree in child education, do some preschool/daycare teaching, and be a Mom. That may change in a few years time, but honestly, right now, I just want to live my life. I don't want to try to follow some grand meta-narrative about how I ought to be doing this because that happened or this did.

(Now, to clarify, I have the utmost respect for people who are able to do a career and be a parent and have a huge goal for their life. It's just not me right now.)

And maybe in a few years time (or several years time!), I'll decide I want to keep going on with my career path. Or maybe I'll decide that it wasn't really for me and I'm content with where I am.

Hubby and I have been talking a great deal about this because of things going on in our lives right now and where we're at. And we're in agreement.

You know all what I want right now? A good job where I can work with kids. A good career job for Hubby who can stay there and not mind being there for the next 10-15 years. A house with a yard within the next 5-7 years. A puppy. And a baby or two. That's all I really want. And right now, that's all that really matters.

No needing to follow grand plans or schemes, no following some grand narrative of how my life should be. No. Just simple.

I used to not understand people who seemed to just live without seeming to want more than just a job, home, family.

Well, now I do.

And really. Is there anything wrong with wanting to just be a mom or just be a dad? That seems like a worthwhile lifetime goal, in and of itself.

Bemused

2010-07-20T16:27:00.000-07:00

Short blogpost today, mainly cause I don't have much to say.

First off, rearranging our condo this weekend (with the help of our "daughters" who are promised pizza). We decided that getting another roommate wasn't going to be feasible, and honestly, no one we know around who we'd want to live with needs housing. So. The other bedroom is getting turned into our office/craft room/spare room (meaning we're keeping the bed and all that for you visitors who come down!). Anyway. We are moving my desk and Hubby's desk out of our bedroom and into that room, clearing up space in our room and also clearing up space in the living room (where Hubby's computer currently is).

This is also our Spring Cleaning (Yes, we should have done it before and we hadn't. So now we are). It's time to actually clean up the boxes and organize the garage. We have some good furniture in there that needs to be used, some good books to still get up in the house and storage space going to waste because we haven't cleaned it up. So that's our projects this weekend. I'm going to do a little bit tonight with some of my stuff, and also cleaning up the patio because my personality twin is coming over tomorrow night for food. Yay!

It's also rather odd to be talking with someone and realize they are a mirror of how you were at that age. That most of what they are saying you said at some point, and that they're practically talking about the same fears and worries and stresses and needs that you had at that time as well. It was....odd, to say the least, but good. Reminded me of how far I'd come. Also blessed me that I was able to give very practical advice and go, "Oh yah, here's how you're feeling and how you're feeling but not telling me, right? Ok. Here's how I dealt with it." Some good practical advice, without (hopefully!) being too biased on one end or the other.

Oh! And Hubby fixed my Netbook! It was a rather easy fix, surprisingly easy. Kind of hilarious. He decided to try it and it was fixed within 5 minutes. I'm amused because his first words were, "Well...if I had known that Iw ould have fixed it months ago. *facepalm*". Hehe. So that's wonderful. I now have my Netbook back and can work on my stories and have my own computer space and such that's wonderful. Yay!

So, I lied. Apparently this is a long blog post. Hope you enjoyed it. I enjoyed rambling a bit about my life.

Quote:
A single idea from the human mind can build cities. A dream can transform the world and rewrite all the rules.

You shouldn't be afraid to dream a little bit bigger, darling.

2010-07-16T16:12:00.000-07:00

So...apparently I haven't had caffeine in Quite Some Time.

How do I know this?

I'm currently incredibly jittery (as in talking fast, twitching, etc)....from a Frozen Mocha from Panera. One. Frozen. Drink. That barely has any coffee in it.

What?

This is apparently what happens when I'm running on three hours of sleep and have a frozen mocha over lunch.

Jitters. Like crazy. Enough that Hubby is teasing me about them. I feel like Twitch from South Park. Not quite as bad, of course, but close. Very close to it.

The reason for my lack of sleep and current state of jittery caffeine adrenaline sugar jolted state?

We Saw Inception Last Night.

(And yes, it deserved all capital letters!)

It was beautiful. One of the most mind-thrilling movies I've seen. It literally has so many twists and turns and wheels within wheels within wheels that you always feel like you're three steps behind trying to catch up. But unlike Dark Knight (which starts like a starting gun at a race and never stops momentum), this has you trying to catch up and race ahead with your mind trying to keep track of so many levels upon levels of things going on. My respect for the Nolan Brothers keeps going up with every movie I see, and this one is definitely no different. This is, by far, one of the best ones they've done, in my ~~humble~~ opinion.

It is incredibly unique in the way it does things, the cinimetography is such I haven't seen before, and the storyline/plot just keeps getting you surprised at every turn. The ending is spectacular in a way that you wouldn't expect anything else of them.

In all honestly, it reminds me a bit of Pan's Labyrinth. By the end of the movie you don't know what's real and what isn't, and you're left trying to figure it out.

Also the cast was phenomenal. I was incredibly impressed with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Ellen Page's characters, especially. They held their own against the Big Names, so to speak. I'd almost say they stole the show. Almost.

Go See It. It will blow you away.

We saw it just in regular theaters. Once a certain friend gets back from Cambridge, I think us, him, and another friend will go see it in IMAX. Yep. I think so.

And that is all from me.

Though after watching that movie you won't ever think of dreams the same way again. And it's also odd to realize someone else thinks of dreams in a similar way as I do. Hrm.

Happy Weekend, Everyone! Stay cool! (It's currently almost 100 here, and I feel like I'm back where I was living during HS. Ugh. Though a pregnant friend of mine is currently braving 100+ in Palm Desert, so I shouldn't complain)

Ta!

Accomplishments

2010-07-13T22:48:00.000-07:00

Tonight I feel wonderful, for several reasons. The first being we're going on our cruise in 5 weeks 4 days, and have started planning on doing what where. I made my hubby smile and laugh even though he had a bit of a blah day. I made a raspberry pie from scratch and it turned out beautifully. I felt very wifey because I got flour on my clothes from baking. I've decided to start eating better, which includes actually planning out meals beforehand and getting lunches ready for the next day. We did our big trip to Costco and now I have lots of creative things to make for dinner.

And I've started singing/humming to myself again. My own song. This makes me incredibly Happy. That is all.

Edit: Here's a picture of the pie (I need to make some whipped cream to go on top):

Long Day

2010-07-09T12:09:00.000-07:00

Long day ahead (well, half over at least).

I was out till 2:30 with friends and Hubby. We went and saw Predators which was, surprisingly, actually pretty decent. Lost that whole 80s action feel (thank goodness!), and Adrien Brody was actually believable as a Black Ops/Blackwater (they never really say) guy. I'm impressed. Overall, good silly fun. Also, the take on the Predator culture was fun and intriguing. And they definitely left it open for a sequel.

Because of the late night, I'm currently operating on auto-pilot and just waiting for the day to run out. Then it's the weekend which I will take to recuperate and relax and enjoy being out in the sun. Maybe a beach trip would be in order, that might be fun. Or just out by the pool. Either way, determined to enjoy the weekend.

Next week should be exciting, mostly because Inception is coming out. So Excited! Seeing it with Hubby and a friend on IMAX. Whee!

Also. Planning stuff for Our Cruise. And getting excited as it keeps coming closer....even if it's still 5 weeks and a few days away.

That's all from my front. Am suddenly feeling rather ill. I am probably dehydrated and all that. I'm going to find water and crackers.

I also have this song stuck in my head from a preview last night and find it rather intriguing.

"Sympathy For The Devil"

Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith

And I was 'round when Jesus Christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

I stuck around St. Petersberg
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the Czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain

I rode a tank
Held a general's rank
When the Blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
What's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah

I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the Gods they made

I shouted out
"Who killed the Kennedys?"
When after all
It was you and me

Let me please introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
And I laid traps for troubadors
Who get killed before they reached Bombay

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what's confusing you
Is just the nature of my game

Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me Lucifer
'Cause I'm in need of some restraint

So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your soul to waste, um yeah

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, um baby, get down

Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah
Oh yeah!

Tell me baby, what's my name
Tell me honey, baby guess my name
Tell me baby, what's my name
I tell you one time, you're to blame

Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah

What's my name
Tell me, baby, what's my name
Tell me, sweetie, what's my name

Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah

Alone

2010-07-06T14:57:00.000-07:00

So. We leave on our cruise in 6 weeks, 4 days. No, I'm not counting down. Who said anything about counting down? It's not like we're extremely excited to be going on vacation for a grand total of 9 1/2 days or anything. Nope. Not at all.

This weekend was very nice and relaxing, though not long enough (as always). We spent most of it relaxed, watching movies and hanging out with Hubby's cousin. Sunday was a BBQ for the Fourth with our condo complex, where we got to meet a lot of our neighbors and eat good food, and then shoot off fireworks. Then yesterday we slept in till noon, Hubby and I made breakfast for each other, and then got to visit with a good friend and his little daughter who were driving up from San Marcos. That was fun. We had Ruby's, I got stickers all over me thanks to the little one, and then played around a fountain and looked at Henna tattoos. All in all, a wonderful weekend.

Life, at the moment, is incredibly frustrating. It's that whole feeling of being almost there to where things will change but it's not quite there yet and you're doing this balancing act in between. I absolutely hate that feeling. It's the same one you get when you're flying, right as you're taking off but not quite there yet, the sudden dip in your stomach and your ears aren't quite popped. That annoying feeling.

I feel very Alone right now. I realize I have an amazing Hubby and he does help a lot, but he isn't my entire life (and he shouldn't be! That's unhealthy). But I honestly wish I had closer friends than I do now. Most of them have Left, in one form or another, and it's incredibly hard, especially when I don't really have any good way to make more friends. I am so thankful for the friends I do have. I just wish I had more closer to me as well....

I have got a bit more I'd like to talk about but I don't think this is the right medium, to be honest.

So back to work I go....and hope things start looking up soon.

Ranting post....don't read if you don't want to

2010-06-30T12:38:00.000-07:00

Hubby and I were having a pretty interesting conversation about how society and media have really screwed up people's views of beauty (well, no surprise there). Specifically that unless you're an Olivia Wild/Megan Fox or Brad Pitt/Robert Downey Jr, then you're not attractive at all.

.....really?

No wonder guys and girls have such self-esteem issues. They're being compared to extremely photoshopped images.

It's incredibly sad because it also means that anyone is "less than drop-dead hott" is looked over as being unattractive....simply because they don't look exactly like a supermodel of either sex.

Well, in Real Life, most people don't look like that. Most people can't look like that. And there are very different types of beauty. A girl or guy can be incredibly cute without being hot. And generally speaking, what matters is not only what a person looks like but also who they are, how they act, how they treat someone else.

I'd sooner date an "okay" guy who was an amazing man, than an incredibly "hot" guy who was chauvinistic (insert your choice of word here).

It amazes me how media has literally trained our generation to ignore a whole person and just focus on looks (I'm talking to both guys and girls here, btw). If a girl is an amazing woman, but also no Megan Fox, then it's immediately a check-off the list because she might have a few extra pounds around the waist. If a guy is average or better than average but no Robert Downey Jr, then the girl passes on by because she can get someone "better" (or rather, hotter).

Which also leads into something else that's been bugging me. Feminism (Now don't get angry with me yet, I'm a very strong Feminist, no doubt about it, so hear me out). Not the hardcore Feminism, but the barely there permeated into our society in very specific ways feminism. (See the trick with the capitol letter?)

The kind of feminism that convinces any girl who's not a small boyish looking girl or BBW (and even then, still manage to), that A. She can sleep with whomever she wants because any guy would obviously want her and B. that any guy who's trying to be friends with her is just doing that because he wants in her pants.

Girls, get over yourselves.

Sure, there are some guys like that (I've met a few) but guess what, most (if not all) guys have a specific Type of girl they like and find attractive. Not every guy is attracted to thin girls just like not every guy is attracted to curvy girls. Attraction, surprisingly, is varied.

Just because you happen to have boobs and a vagina does not mean any guy will sleep with you if you just smile. And the guys who might generally aren't the kind you want any relationship with.

Honestly, I think it's a sign of maturity level. The realization that Real Life is different than what you always wanted. It's not settling, it's realizing that that idea is just that, an idea. Real people have flaws and won't be perfect in anything. The key is to look at the whole person, not just the physical aspects of someone only.

It's the way it is with everything, honestly. You have to look at the whole picture, at every aspect, every angle to get a full good viewpoint. Not just focus solely on one thing. That's not healthy and tends to lead to unhealthy views.

Bit of a ranting post, sorry about that. I hope my points make sense, though. It's been something that's been frustrating me over a long amount of time because I see people act like this over and over and over again....and it's self-centered and immature. Unfortunately, society and media just keeps reinforcing it. So what can you do?

Anniversary Adventure!

2010-06-25T10:12:00.000-07:00

So...I can finally announce it. We're going on a 7day7night Carnival Cruise for our 2nd year anniversary adventure! Sooo excited. We've been wanting to do one for a long time (initially thought about doing it for our Honeymoon), and now it worked out so we can.

Yayayayayayayy!!!!!!!!!!!

Now.....I need actual summer clothes. Eep!

Life, the Universe, and Time

2010-06-23T11:24:00.000-07:00

So it is official. I should have done it months (some would say years) ago, but I finally have legally changed my name!! Yes yes, I know. Two years late, but whatever. You try working 40 hours a week, 9 hours of classes, and keeping up with a house and oh yah, that other thing....oh, marriage. That's right.

Anyway, I am so happy I finally fixed that. Now I just have to make an appointment at the DMV to get my license changed (name and address, actually), and voila! Though it is wonderful to know that I can now sign my name without having to explain anything.

Toy Story 3 was incredibly good. As usual. Pixar, well done. Go take yourself (and significant others, kids etc) to go see it. If you're like me, you'll have fond memories of being 11 (I think) and watching it, being amazed at how real everything looked. And now I'm 22, soon to be 23 (a month and couple weeks from!), watching the third and final installment (I think) of Toy Story and still feeling like a kid watching it. Good job. Though, I'll watch anything by Pixar. They have yet to do something bad. Even sequels turn out almost as good as the first one, which is a rare thing nowadays.

I had an attack of reorganize the kitchen last night. We weren't using our counterspace well, and it was bugging me. I kept staring at it and finally realized how to utilize the whole counter. Most of which consisted of putting away a couple appliances we weren't using enough to keep out, move over the knife block to the other side in the corner, the spices near the knives, and stick the cutting board on the side of the counter with the disposal section of the sink. On the opposite corner is a fruit basket (filled currently with oranges, a cantaloupe, and oranges), and some flowers (well, realistically fake looking flowers. I like them!) It adds just enough color to lighten and brighten our kitchen considerably, since it's practically the only place that actually doesn't have windows besides the back door.

I honestly cannot wait for the day I can be at home during the day so I can open the house up and get all the sunlight streaming in. By the time I'm back from work, the sun is in the wrong place and it gets dark quite quickly, which is really sad. It's such an amazing bright and cheery place with the windows open. At night, it's not non-cheery or something. I just love natural light. Especially after spending all this time in fluorescent light, I miss natural lighting a lot.

Ooo...I need to get candles. I love having candles all around the house, but have run out. Dollar store, here I come! They have great scented candles for cheap. And little stands, too. Though I do know what kind I'd like to get sooner rather than later.

I suppose now I'm actually settling in to our home, and viewing it as our home. Not that I didn't before, but finally figuring out how I want it to look and what it should be like. Wonderful. I love setting up house. Now if I could just get through some of those boxes in the garage..... Most of which are books. You know, I might take a Saturday and just spend the entire day going through our boxes of books, getting them all set up and putting the rest back in the garage. Pretty sure that would take care of a good chunk of the random boxes sitting around in there.

I've also started actually planning out meals. On a blog I love browsing through, they had this amazing setup for planning your meals and keeping track of the groceries to remember. I taped both up on the fridge (Because it's not magnetic!) and am now keeping a good list of both. I figure I'll use Saturday as "grocery" day from now on, because I assume that buying groceries regularly instead of waiting till you nearly run out probably is a better way to save money than not. Also have a couple envelopes on the fridge keeping track of coupons for food and for market. Also our fridge is dry erasable. So bummer about not being magnetic. Awesome for being able to use dry erase markers on it!

I'm feeling rather grown up now. I'm married (almost two years!!), we have an amazing condo. We're settling into a schedule.

Oh and all of my friends are having babies. Talk about feeling old....er.

I've also realized my concept of Time has shifted without me knowing it. I think in long term now, not just short term. Five years to me is not that long anymore and I know it can be gone in a blink. We've been talking about when to buy a house (future!), and I realized that living in the same place for more than five years does not scare me like it used to, because it really isn't all that long. Planning on where to be for the next five years (I'm using five cause it's a good round number) is easier and more natural.

Compared to three-four years ago when thinking ahead that much scared me, because I didn't think I could know what I would want to do that far in advance. Ha. Well, live and learn.

It's also weird to look back on myself from three years ago and realize how much I've changed and also how much I've settled into who I am. I probably won't vary (much) from who I am today in five years. I might settle more, I might change a little, but nothing like the drastic change from 18 year old me to 23 year old me. Even looks have changed a bit. Well...more style than looks, I suppose. Anyway. I'm settling into who I am and embracing it, instead of fighting against it.

I'm incredibly excited for what this next year holds. Hopefully some good changes coming up soon.

Also, planning our 2nd year Anniversary Adventure. Going to be awesome, but not quite talking about it yet. Need to finalize a few things first. Ee! Soo excited.

On that note, I need to get back to work.

Birds are like mini velociraptors....with wings.

2010-06-18T15:00:00.000-07:00

I don't feel good today. Actually, haven't been feeling good for a week or so. But it's a weird not feeling good. I don't feel sick per se, but I don't feel well either.

I haven't been sleeping well at all. I don't know what it is, it's not the heat (gone by the time I go to bed). I fall asleep at a good hour (10:30!) and wake up more tired than when I went to bed. I'm dreaming more but they're just random odd dreams (if you want random odd dreams, read Neil Gaiman before bed, does the trick).

I've also been a lot more irritable, much to my chagrin. (Apologies to anyone, especially Hubby, that I've snarled at).

Gah.

Maybe I'm just stressed (But about what is entirely unknown to me). Entirely possible.

I hate not knowing why I feel like this. Rather frustrating.

Anyway.

Seeing Toy Story3 tonight. Going up to a friend's graduation BBQ tomorrow in the dessert. That should be fun. Good food and conversation.

And today is Friday, so that is thankful.

Ta.

New Thing All Around

2010-06-10T11:30:00.000-07:00

Hello there,

Yes, I did just post yesterday but I can actually expound on it now.

Our best friends gave birth to a little boy yesterday around 7pm! Sooo excited for them. Cannot wait to go down and see them and hold that gorgeous honorary nephew!

Also, sis-in-law and bro are pregnant. Due in January, so that is also exciting.

And my other friend is due in 9 days! She's also expecting a gorgeous little boy.

So many babies around or going to be around. How exciting!!

Today is going to be a good day. I don't have work tomorrow because Hubby's little cousin is graduating from 6th grade, and we're driving up tonight to be with them. Also, Dad-in-love is flying out along with Hubby's aunt, whom I adore (Well, I adore all of our family), just haven't seen her in a long while. Since Hubby's graduation, actually. I really wish Brother and Mom-in-Love could come too. Going to miss them dearly.

However, excited to be seeing them this weekend and also with having a day off tomorrow, thus 3 day weekend!

Oh. Notice anything different? Why yes, I did cut my hair! No? Oh. You mean the layout?

It was time for something different, and this felt more like me at the moment than the other one (though it is a favorite and I'll probably switch to that one again at some point). Reminds me of a faerie gypsy type.

It's been nice around the house, lately. Lots of relaxing and a very calming summertime so far. It's been amazing. Also been getting lots more sleep. I've been going to bed by 10 or 11 every night this week, and wow. Feel so good.

Also been accepting Facts as true, which has been very healthy for me.

Overall, it's been a good week. And am very happy it's summertime.

We're also plotting our 2nd year Anniversary. So excited and can hardly believe it's been 2 years (well, almost)!

Babies!

2010-06-09T12:54:00.000-07:00

Well, it appears everyone's either getting pregnant or giving birth.

Babies everywhere. How exciting.

And in case you're wondering, no, not yet. Soon, but not yet. And yes, we have talked about it.

Congratulations to my friends. You know who you are. So happy for all of you!

Oh crap. I need to figure out gifts. Eep!

Much love. *Muah*

What do you hear? Nothing but the rain....

2010-06-03T11:06:00.000-07:00

Well, hello there. Been a couple weeks. Though it feels much much longer than that. Ages even.

Guess that happens when life goes insane.

Not much I can talk about, unfortunately (or fortunately). Suffice it to say, the past two weeks have been ones of turmoil, insanity, and lots of trusting. Things have worked out for the better, thankfully, but it took lots of bloodsweattears (not literally but that idea), like most things.

Anyway.

I haven't been feeling very well the last couple of weeks. I caught a nasty headcold last week that has morphed into a wonderful chestcough and sore throat now (yay!).

I've also been trying to figure out what to do with my life. Yes, yes, wasn't it just a few weeks (months?) ago I posted a blog that I had figured out what I was doing? Well, yes. But I'm actually now trying to figure out how to do that. Sure, I have figured out ideally and abstractly what I want to do (even have a vague sense of how to do that), but currently am trying to figure out practically how to do that. A lot harder than it seemed. Well....more that I have to make some hard calls on how and what to do when. I've never been much of a planner, so having to plan 5-8 years of schooling....not really my cup of tea. I sometimes wish I had an administrative/organized mind, instead of the crazy unorganized chaos that is my artist's brain. But I suppose if I had that mind, I wouldn't be able to write as I do or what I enjoy writing.

Speaking of writing, I really need to get back on that. I haven't written anything (besides some blogposts and journal entries, which I don't really consider writing writing) in a very long time. Happened when our Netbook broke (which had most of my stories on it), and I enjoy having my Netbook to work on stuff....so when that happened, kind of lost touch. We're getting it fixed soon, though, so I should be able to start working on them again. It's the summer, afterall, I might as well do something besides catching up on movies and reading a ton. Oh my goodness, I love the summer.

Speaking of summer, I have decided to swim 3x a week for the summer (if not longer). I did my first last night and while it was probably only about 20 minutes or so (if that), it felt glorious. Not only was the temperature just right, the time was perfect, and it felt a good way to start off my night at home (I got home from work, changed, swam, and then showered). So partially to get into better shape and partially because it was a glorious de-stresser from work and mostly for the relaxation and fun, I will do this consistently for the next few weeks and see how I'm feeling after that.

I realize I'll always be a bit of a curvy girl (and let's face it, most of my curves are things I can't and don't want to lose ;-) ), doesn't mean I wouldn't mind being a better toned curvy girl. So we shall see how it goes. I'll be happy just to tone up my stomach if nothing else. Hehe.

Though, oddly, I'm completely at ease with who I am and what I look like. Sure, I want to make some changes but mostly for fun than anything else. Sure I can see things in which I could be "better" (or perhaps healthier is a better term? Not better, because it's not like I'm bad or wrong or something)....but overall, I am content with who I am and how I look. The changes are for fun, to match who I see myself as inside, not because I need to change but because I want to. And that's the difference.

Hubby and I just finished watching the final few episodes of Battlestar Galactica. Oh my goodness....it was one of the most amazing finales I've ever seen in a TV show. Ever. Soo amazing. And they actually pulled off making the good guys be good and the bad guys bad, and having that be the downfall. The reason the bad guys "get what's coming" is not through the good guys being tricky or the bad guys having a change of heart. No, it was from their own natures interacting with each other. The bad guys got what was coming because they acted according to their nature, and that was their downfall. It's very hard to do, and very hard to do believably. The BSG writers managed to do it believably and well. Go watch the series all the way through. It's really good, and the end ties everything together. I've never seen a character actually come full-circle as they made one of theirs do. I was in shock, and cried. A lot. At the end. But then again, this is me. I cried watching the "Dream On" episode in Glee. If you are going to spend your summer watching random TV shows, I'd highly suggest you spend it watching BSG. It's well worth your time. Trust me.

Also, there is a crack in the ceiling/wall at work. I am now on edge, trying not to look in the corner of my eye and also waiting to hear a certain sound.

...When on earth did I become such a nerd?

I cannot wait for Inception to come out. I will watch anything by the Nolan Brothers (practically) and Leo DiCapprio has really come into his own as an actor. I didn't like him for the longest time but he has done such good movies lately, that I've come to love him. So mix him with Ellen Page and the Nolan Brothers, and oh my goodness, can hardly wait!!! Think I'm going to plan an amazing date for me and Hubby around this movie. Seems too good not to.

Alrighty, now that I've ~~wasted~~ spent a good amount of your time, I should get back to work. Not that there's much to do, given I finished my projects. Now I just sit and wait for the phone to ring. Oh, and Hubby to come scare me cause he's teasing me about the crack. Such is life, my life, that is, which I'm coming to realize is not boring and probably never will be.

So say we all.

A wedding! I love weddings! Drinks all around!

2010-05-20T13:31:00.000-07:00

Well.

It's that time of year again, though instead of like last year where it was just weddings, now it's babies and weddings.

Dear friends are getting married. Also, dear friends are having their first baby! Such an odd spot Hubby and I are in at our age, I suppose. Our friends are either getting married or having kids. Whee! Makes for a not boring summer, I suppose.

On that note, cue beginning of wedding season for the next few weeks. We're off this afternoon (in half an hour, actually) for a wedding (yay!). We won't be back till Sunday sometime.

So, ta for now. Hope you have a lovely weekend, and enjoy this fun season!

Remember the Little Things

2010-05-18T12:11:00.000-07:00

I need to remember the little things in life (Well, "little").

Like the way my (our) cat curls up against me in the morning purring and content to just cuddle.

The way my friends and I laugh and giggle together.

The way wild flowers make any room brighter.

The carefreeness of a child playing in a park.

The way Hubby looks when I catch him staring at me.

The way Hubby rolls over and pulls me closer, even in his sleep.

The way we both refuse to get up on weekends and are content to just cuddle under covers.

The way he smirks at me.

How much we've both grown and matured together.

How much we've become better together than we were apart.

How much better Life is together, than what it was without each other.

How one moment can change your Life forever.

The comforting and secure feeling whenever I see/feel the rings around my fingers.

How right it feels when his hand envelops mine.

How confident I am in myself, now, because of the freedom I have with Hubby.

The way we can look at each other and know what the other one wants/needs/is thinking.

It's the little things I tend to forget and neglect...when they are some of the most important things in Life.

Bridal Shower! (And Visiting Friends)

2010-05-17T10:27:00.000-07:00

Well, we had a crazy fun busy weekend. Saturday after my bike ride(last one! Yay!), we drove down to San Diego area to visit two dear friends. Hubby and Il Duce went up to his parents' property to go shooting, which they had a blast doing (no pun intended!). While the boys were off being boys, Lush and I went off to visit my dear friend who's on mandatory bedrest for the next five weeks. Apparently little baby wants to come way earlier than intended. We spent a good two-three hours just talking and laughing and keeping her company. She looked incredibly more cheerful when we left than when we arrived.

After that, we went back, met the boys for dinner and then crashed. (By this time it was 3AM). Then got up the next morning, talked a bit longer than intended (but isn't that always the case?) and headed back towards home.

Sunday afternoon was the Bridal Shower for a dear friendd we had planned. The theme was a Mad Hatter Tea Party "time" shower. Everyone got a little card in their invitations that said "Please bring a gift that would be useful between 1 and 2am" and so on. Thus ensuring the variety of the gifts that would happen. I was not in charge of decorating (MoB was), so when I arrived and walked in, I was sooo excited to see how amazing everything turned out. The food arrived soon after, and it all came together wonderfully. Another friend (not a part of the Bridal Party) came and helped us get tea all sorted (Thank goodness!).

Around 2:30, guests started arriving as did the huge pile of gifts. Around 3:05, the Bride arrived, blindfolded because she had been kidnapped by Hubby for lunch. MoB had put out a special ring and hat and a cute bottle with "Drink Me" on it out on the porch, so he got that all situated and then led her in. I undid the blindfold and she was sooo excited.

Overall, it went gloriously well and right on time (thankfully!). The food was wonderful. The guests hilarious and awesome. The gifts were varied and very useful (or not so useful). And overall, she was completely excited and overjoyed and happy, which was the whole point. So hooray!

Here are some "Before" pictures I snapped on my phone before I got swamped with hosting duties. Hehe.

If you can't read it, it says: Welcome, Welcome to all foe and woe, welcome to a tea party for the girl and the Bride, SHE has Fallen, Fallen, FALLEN, in love hard long and deep to a wonderful Mad Hatter that wants her as his Queen!

The Girls and the Bride (in the white hat) :)

You say hello and I say goodbye....

2010-05-10T10:34:00.000-07:00

Well, hello there. Yes, I know it's been a while. Almost three weeks. No, don't look at me like that. You know life gets in the way. Fine fine. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to neglect you. Are we good now? Yes? May I continue? Well, thanks.

*****
It's been a really busy stressful last few weeks. I kept meaning to write something on here, but...the inspiration so to speak just never showed up. Things I wanted to write on, I shouldn't (journaled about them instead). And to be perfectly honest, life just hasn't slowed up for me lately.

Celebrated Hubby's birthday on the 30th. That was fun! Went out to Benihana (yes, again) for dinner that night. Then the next day after a bike ride we had a fun BBQ with a bunch of friends over. Then we just relaxed and had some fun on Sunday. He had a full birthday weekend, which was awesome. He got to buy fun things he wanted, I got him some fun things, and overall, he had a great birthday [so he tells me. I think I'll believe him ;-) ]

Hm. I suppose it's not so much been busy, as just things catching up with me and not having time/energy/willpower/wanting to write about them. A lot (if not most!) are things I'm just figuring out and dealing with in my own personhood (is that a word? Blogger says no...hrm).

For instance, this past weekend was Mother's Day (Happy Mother's Day!!! Love to you all!!). Which put in the forefront of my mind all of my dear friends who are expecting their first baby in a few weeks or a few months. And...it was kind of hard. I know what I need to be doing and where I ought to be going, but...I still am feeling very left out and stuck in a place while they're going on their own way and moving forward. It's hard, and very restless for me.

Which leads to the other thing (well, one of the other things) I've been wrestling and struggling with. The feeling that my (our) support group/friend group is slowly dissapaiting (however you spell that!) away. Not maliciously, just...people moving on and away. Which is the way life is, I suppose, but also hurts and is frustrating because I (we, really) am a people-person (while being a bit of an introvert, Figure that one out!), and it's hard to realize that things are moving and changing, and feeling like you're stuck in the same place.

Also probably why I've been feeling so restless and uneasy (in just a not at ease place, not worried about anything) place in my life right now. I feel like there's a big change coming soon for us, that it's going to happen soon, but I don't know what (though I have ideas, but that's a blog for a later time).....like you're poised on the edge of a cliff waiting to jump and knowing you're going to but haven't yet and you're bouncing back and forth on your toes, just barely staying where you are.

That's what I'm feeling like lately, but also with a feeling like my friends have already jumped and for some reason I'm still here at the top, waiting (and anyone who knows me, knows I hate waiting!). Mix that feeling with a sense of loneliness at the moment and it makes for a very restless uneasy frustrated me.

Though as a dear friend pointed out, sometimes that strong of a feeling of restlessness and unease (I really need to find a better word...not unease as in worry. Unease as in just antsy and pacing, almost) of where you're at is God's way of getting you prepared for some Change that is coming, whether you know when or what.

I know that. Still....doesn't make this feeling any easier to deal with.

Though....I suppose that's a welcome to Life and Relationships. Nothing's simple and clear-cut. It's all messy and complicated and convuluted (sp??) and hard to figure out. People who say it's all Simple and Easy are following a Script of living, not really Living. And...I've tried it that other way and it's not worth it. I'd rather be Living, thanks, with all the complications and hardships and frustrations that come with just dealing with other humans. Even if it's hard and I need reminding a lot of times.

C'est la vie.

P.s. Go see Iron Man 2 and stay till the end of the credits!! It was excellently done, and the cast was awesome! I personally think it was a bit better than the first, but that's a lot to do with the plot and characters...instead of the first one just setting it all up (which it did very well).

Also, cannot wait for Inception to come out!! It looks amazing. And I'd see anything done by the Nolan Brothers. Also Robin Hood with Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott. Plus The Last Airbender. There are just so many good movies coming out! w00t!

Epic Date!!!

2010-04-26T09:15:00.000-07:00

As promised, here is my blog about the Epic Date this past weekend.

I woke up around 11AM on Saturday morning (thank goodness. I needed to sleep in!). We got moving around noon, and decided to grab some lunch at Rosewood and get the car washed.

All the while, Hubby has been smirking and hinting and teasing about what we're going to be doing.

We headed to Savers to see if we couldn't find him a fedora for his tux, which we couldn't, but he spotted some knee high black boots for me that I've been looking for. I got them for $8, absolutely love them, especially after seeing they were NineWest in practically perfect condition. Score.

After that, we headed to campus to borrow one off of a good friend (the fedora, that is), and by this time it was time to pick up my friend for the Epic Date.

We headed back to our condo, changed, and were on the road in about twenty minutes.

Now. Hubby had printed up everything he was going to need for the date, sealed it in an envelope, and had given it to me to hold onto. So this time it was my friend holding onto it and he was opening it to grab the directions to various places.

The first place we went to was the Griffith Observatory (The Rocketeer, anyone?). It was sooo gorgeous. My friend and I just wandered around, smiling and gasping at how beautiful it was. We both loved wandering around there. It was beautiful, and thank goodness it was a clear day, because you could see all the way to downtown. Not to mention driving through the gorgeous neighborhoods to get there. Wow!

After that, we headed to Beverly Hills for dinner. Hubby pulled into Benihana, and I about squee'd in delight. My friend immediately said, "Oh I've been wanting to go here!!" The food was the best we've had yet at a Benihana. Hubby got the most amazing filet mignon I've ever tasted. It literally melted in your mouth, completely. First time we've all had a bite of something and your face went from "chewing" to "Oh my god..." *dies*. It was that good. Dinner took a couple hours, and it was fun to just relax and eat and enjoy good food together. Hubby was still hinting and teasing about what came next, but we had no idea.

It wasn't until we were almost there that he handed us our tickets (which were impossible to read, btw, which meant we took a good two minutes trying to find the name), and we had parked by the Pantages theater. He had gotten us tickets to see Chicago....orchestra level. We were probably only about 8 rows from the front, which was perfect. We got our seats (after an entertaining awkward moment of getting flirted with in the line for the bathroom....) with about five minutes to spare. Hubby bought us candy, and then the lights dimmed. It was such a fun show, and I loved seeing it on stage, with all the actors personalities bringing the characters to life. I think one of my most favorite parts was when the gentleman (Probably a tenor?) playing Billy Flynn and the guy (a high Soprano) playing Mary Sunshine had a freaking sing-off in the middle of the show. It was amazing. I also found it interesting how they had only about....15? or so cast members. The four-five main characters, and then the choir, who played everyone else. It worked really well, and was incredibly interesting to see, because you barely noticed. The songs were amazing, as always, and seeing it live on stage was....beautiful. (They also had the orchestra set up like a Big Band stage up on stage. That was amazing, because they (the characters) interacted with the bandleader.

We then got home around midnight or so, hung out for a bit longer, took my friend home, and then collapsed in bed. Overall, it was a glorious amazing date. Incredibly Epic, well worth the wait (remember, he's been planning this since January!), and oh so amazing.

Something that's been on my mind lately is just how amazing of a Husband I have. I watch other people's interactions with each other (couples or no), and I just keep realizing over and over that my hubby and I are so very blessed and lucky to have found each other. We work together and do our very best to not fight with each other. We care about our relationship enough to not fight about the little things people do, and we also want our relationship to grow, not just sit idle. Sure, we get frustrated with each other, but most times, we want to figure out what's going on in our heads to make us frustrated, not lash out at each other.

Our love for each other has grown and deepened since we've been together, and it continues to do so. I can't wait to see how it does.

Here's to you, Hubby, for making this weekend amazing.

Ahh!!!!!!!!11

2010-04-23T11:20:00.000-07:00

The Epic Date is tomorrow night. I am beyond excited and antsy. Oh my goodness...it felt like it was going to take forever to get here, and now it's here.

This week is just shaping up to be amazing.

Have some stuff on my mind, but currently just waiting.....ahhhh!!!

Will post more after tomorrow evening.

Until then, I go and twitch now.

Happy Monday, all!

2010-04-12T11:20:00.000-07:00

Per that post from last week, the week went up and down a bit. Honestly, it was Spring Break for us, and it felt like the week lasted forever. I only had work, some stress, and then a very relaxing weekend. Hubby and I slept in, relaxed, watched loads of Dr. Who (who is and always will be The Doctor). I got creative and tried some new recipes. My favorite being the chicken pasta with the olive oil/garlic sauce. It was incredibly yummy and incredibly easy (and easily made vegetarian. Just don't add chicken!). I also added some Parmesan cheese on top and made it with some garlic bread, and voila! easy filling good dinner.

Like the week, the weekend took forever to pass by, which was nice because it was a weekend, and they're supposed to last forever...so to speak. I finished two books over the weekend, which felt lovely (or was it three? Perhaps three). I know I finished Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman last week at some point. I also read Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency by Douglas Adams (which I was told was based on the Dr Who episode he wrote, and I could easily see that. Very creepy amazing book). I also finished up Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut. It was about the Dresden fire bombing...and it was also one of the oddest books I've ever read. Intriguing.

I had two answered prayers over the weekend, which surprised me, to say the least. I haven't been used to God answering prayers (that visibly, at least), so it was a wonderful blessing. I had made an honest mistake in something I was supposed to take care of. Unfortunately, it (as these things do) happened at exactly the wrong time, so it became a bit more involved. Crying and stressing and figuring things out later, two friends (you know who you are) provided what we needed. It was quite surprising and quite relieving. And quite odd to go, "Oh...I was stressing and praying without realizing it, and it was provided...." God's a sneaky fellow. Hehe.

Oh. If you notice the tone of my writing sounds rather British, well that is the Doctor's fault. I've been watching him with Hubby for the last week or so, because the new series started up on Sunday (of last week). So now, two episodes into the new series, and Matt Smith is the Doctor. I don't quite know how it happened but it did, and he is the Doctor. After one episode. Well...after the three minutes he had at the end of The End of Time. The premiere episode just solidified it. I'm sad that David Tennant is gone as is Russell T. Davies, but I am incredibly excited to see Matt Smith as the Doctor and Stephan Moffett as the new head writer (I believe). He has written my favorite episodes so far (Girl in the Fireplace, Blink, Etc). He's the head writer now, and I am soo excited! The Angels are coming back! Ok. End of nerding out now.

I have a big date coming up with Hubby. Well, me and a friend. He's taking me and my best friend out on the town or something of that sort. I don't actually know where we're going. He's keeping it quite close-chested. My friend and I have found our dresses (and they are gorgeous) and we are soo looking forward to it. Hubby's been teasing/taunting me about this date since he started planning it back in....oh gosh. February? January? Long enough for me to be twitching by now. And it is in two weeks! I cannot wait! There will definitely be a lengthy blog about it, I am sure of that, and hopefully some pictures.

And of course, end of April is Hubby's birthday. We don't have much planned at the moment, as funds are a bit tight. I shall figure out something, however. Even if it means delaying it for a few days or some sort. Either way, I shall celebrate Hubby's birthday with him, and we shall have a grand time, no matter what. (And if any family is reading this, he would love some giftcards (Outback, Black Angus, Cheesecake Factory etc) /hint ;)

School starts up again this week, and not much time is left after that, come to think of it. 7 or 6 weeks? I'm sure my friends who are graduating know the exact number of days and hours. Sadly (or thankfully?), I am not at that point, otherwise I'd be stressing and freaking out to no end, I'd imagine.

I have discovered we have two weddings within a month of each other. May is Hubby's dear sister and ex-roommate's wedding (odd one, that. They met because of our wedding, 9months later, engaged. Still chuckle at Fate). We are both in that one, so that week will be incredibly busy but fun. Then later on in June comes another couple of friend's weddings. Hubby knew them first, and we both were able to watch their relationship grow (I was able to help the Gal work through some issues at first) and now they're getting married in June, and I can't think of a better couple together. Very very excited for both of these weddings!

Oh...and not to mention come June/July, our friends are having their babies. It was amusing, actually, that both of our friends got preggers within 4wks of each other! So very excited for them! Just two more reasons to go visit, and hold babies. And I realized I'll have to buy a collapsible playpen for when our friends visit with their babies! (Ok, I probably won't have to, but I want to.)

I have been sad to realize that my journal, which Hubby got me for our first married Christmas together, has only about 7 pages left in it, before it's completely full. I looked/read through it over the weekend and realized just how much it has seen and recorded. Hubby made an inscription in the front which said (amongst other things) "Fill these pages with Love and Beauty". And that journal, while has seen some very hard and sad and hurtful things, has also served to record our first 20 months together as a married couple. It has seen us grow into our marriage, seen it thrive and move and deepen. I'm amazed that it's been almost two years (in August!). That journal has lasted me from December '08 until April '10. I am always so sad to end a journal. It always feels like an end of a chapter in my life, and I suppose it rather is. Though it means exciting time to start new journals! (Specifically the one my mother-in-love got me from S. Korea last summer for my birthday!) This journal ending, for me, feels like the end of my Newlywed-ness (though I haven't really felt like a Newlywed for several months now), and now a new journey is starting. A journey with my Hubby towards our Happily Ever After (to use the phrase often used by my friends). Well. That journey has always been going, I suppose. We're 20 months into it! Or...I really consider our time dating and being engaged as well, and then it would be almost 4 years. Or will it be five, now? No. Four. Anyway. That journal is finishing and has been the witness of the first 20 months or so of our marriage. I imagine when I'm an older married woman/mother, I'll look back at that journal and go, "Oh I was so very young back then." I tend to do that even looking at old entries. I can't imagine what I shall think when I am in my 40s or 50s, married, with kids, and go back to read it over.

Hubby and I were talking about love (specifically our love for each other) a bit back, and I had summarized it as "More than yesterday, less than tomorrow". He didn't quite like that phrase because it's not that he has more love (the feeling) for me. It's deepened and grown and developed more. It's not the same as it was when we first got married. I assured him that's what I meant by that phrase. My love for him (and our love for each other) has deepened and grown and developed and matured greatly since having gotten married. We don't have a different feeling for each other. I think it's because our love has grown out of just 'feeling in love' to actually being love.

Some things feel like they're going to be changing soon...I'm not sure how to explain it or what to even say, but it's like that itch in the back of your head. You don't quite know what it is, but you know something is coming...and you start watching for it. I feel like that. Something is going to change...I can just feel it. The itch. The idea forming. Something.

The clever north wind was not satisfied. It spoke of towns yet to be visited, friends in need yet to be discovered, battles yet to be fought -Chocolat

Thankful...

2010-04-08T09:25:00.001-07:00

I hate days like these.

EDIT:

As you might be able to tell, today hasn't been so very good. I messed up on some stuff, and neglected some others. I've been kicking myself/beating myself up about them all morning, and I finally decided that I'm going to try to make the best of it.

So, without further ado, I'm going to write some things I'm thankful for. Hopefully it'll get my perspective back.

I'm incredibly thankful for our Condo. We were sooo very lucky to have found it, and it's treating us wonderfully. I love inviting people over to visit. I love relaxing in the peace and quiet and natural sunlight that streams in from all the open windows and doors. I love the way Alice (our kitten) wanders around and then curls up by the screen door to watch the outside. I love how relaxing it is for me to be writing at my desk or reading on the bed while Hubby is working on his computer. Or even last night, when he was in the garage and I was tinkering in the kitchen with a friend, and we could still hold a conversation because all the doors were open to let a breeze in.

I'm thankful for my orchids. This seems like a funny one to be thankful for, but flowers (especially orchids) always remind me that there's beauty in the world, no matter what. That no matter what happens, all the decay and fallen-ness of the world, there's beauty in the world. The decay doesn't hinder it, it enhances it. I'm incredibly thankful for both of the orchid plants I have gotten as gifts (from my wonderful Hubby and my boss' wife as an Easter gift) that help remind me of beauty and love and good. One is on my desk and the other is on the kitchen table.

I'm thankful I have a job, even if it's not what I want to be doing. It provides for us (along with Hubby's), there's no fear of being fired (unless I do something really bad), and the hours are reliable. I'm thankful it provides money so we can have gas in the car, bills paid, and a fridge and cupboards full of food. Even with money tight, I can rely that on the 15th/1st of every month, I will get a paycheck.

I'm thankful for dear friends who are helpful, sympathetic, and understanding. Who listen to me vent and cry and rant and help me get through it. Who care enough to gently tell me that I'm probably being too hard on myself, that I need to breathe, and reorient myself properly, instead of freaking out over and over and over again. Who know to let me vent and rant or when to calm me down. I am very thankful for the friends I have, and am incredibly lucky to have them.

I'm incredibly thankful for Hubby. I'm very lucky to have met him. He's everything I've ever wanted for a husband and way more than I ever hoped for. He's understanding and kind and gentle and strong. I love how we cuddle up at night and talk. The way his eyes light up when looking at me. The way he gets when talking about something he's passionate about. How he does stuff purposefully to make me start giggling or laughing. The way we can talk about anything. I love the way he smirks right before he does something to tease me/make me laugh/melt. I'm thankful we work things out, and strive to make each other better. I'm thankful how we both want our marriage to be stronger and deeper and fuller. How we both refuse to just "settle" when we know we need to work on something. Most of all, I love the way we fit together. I am so thankful for Hubby, and I wouldn't be where I am today without him.

I am thankful I have Peace, again.

Happy Birthday!

2010-04-04T07:48:00.000-07:00

A very Happy Birthday to my older brother Michael. You would have been 25 today. It seems fitting your birthday falls on Easter Sunday. I'll be sending you a balloon, like we always did, probably with a note attached with the childlike hope you'll get it, somehow. 

I think of you often. I wish I had a picture of you.

I love you, Brother, and Happy Birthday!

<3

New Layout

2010-03-26T10:05:00.000-07:00

As you may have noticed, my blog layout changed again. Blogger is having fun doing some new templates and such that I liked. So there we are. Hopefully I won't be too ADD about it.

Ta!

There are days and there are days...

2010-03-25T16:31:00.000-07:00

There are days where I feel like I'm on top of the world, I have a handle on things, life is good and while some things are hard, all's well with the world (or rather, my world).

Then there are days where I feel like I'm scrambling at shadows and ghosts and scraps of string getting flung about in the wind to try to keep my life together. Like I was standing in the middle of this cliff and it suddenly all fell out from under me, and I'm scrambling to stay up. Afloat (though not sure that works with a cliff falling....but I suppose it could.)

Today was an odd mixture of both. This morning, I felt like I was barely keeping a grasp on things, that I was just too tired and worn out and stretched and not emotionally strong enough to deal with all I needed to deal and help with. I was despairing that I could do what I needed. That I wasn't strong enough, I wasn't mature enough, you name it, it probably went through my head.

...Then Hubby and I went out to lunch to Olive Garden (you know how cheap it is when you split something? We spent less there than we would have eating at Chipotle!). And the entire way there, we talked and talked and talked. Through lunch we talked as we ate good filling food. We opened up to each other about things we needed to. We talked the entire way back.

And you know what? It made me realize just how far we've both come. How good our relationship is doing. And how well and strong our marriage truly is. We have good days and bad days. We have hard periods one or both of us go through (but what marriage doesn't?), yet...there's hope and strength in knowing you're not going it alone. That you have someone there who can hold you up when you need it. It gives Hubby and I a confidence in our marriage knowing that the other is there, supporting and striving with us to make our marriage stronger. That we are both willing to grow in it, with each other.

There's a freedom in that. A freedom and a strength that cannot be matched.