It's one of those days...

You know when you wake up and you just know it's going to be "one of those days"? Not necessarily bad, but still. I woke up like that this morning. Both my alarms went off, and I still manged to wake up ten minutes later than I meant to. Which meant I had to rush to get out the door because I needed to get bus money. Oh yes, that's right. I ran out of bus money yesterday (well, not ran out so much as needed more). I realized this fact at 1 AM when nothing is open. So I decided I would just go early. Set my alarms and went to bed with my hubby. Slept restless (we both woke up at 4 AM for some reason and couldn't fall back to sleep till later). Then, as I said before, woke up 10 minutes later than I meant even with my alarms going off. So rushed, got bus money, made it to the bus in time, and all that. But it feels like just one of those days. It was so cold this morning when I was out walking to my stop, freezing in my office building. I'm just now starting to get warm, and wistfully thinking of the warm covers and body I left at home this morning.

I suppose I shouldn't be complaining as much...I have a steady job in a recession, I have a husband who loves me and takes care of me, a roof over my head, food on the table, etc...

...except that I'm not at peace. I'm just so tired and worn out from everything. I feel like "butter scraped over too much bread". It feels like I keep giving and giving, putting out so much of my emotions and energy, but what's getting returned is only 1/4 of what I gave out...but somehow I'm supposed to keep doing the same amount, on less. I'm struggling with my faith, and have so many doubts. I don't know where to turn...God feels so very distant and sometimes not even there.

sigh.

I just wish there weren't so many questions and so few answers...

I miss them terribly.