Story

So I'm working on a new story, and I tried to post it up on here, but something about it wasn't getting recognized...which makes me sad. I'm wondering if it was the font or something. I'll keep trying.

Anyway...yesterday was a decent day. Not too bad, kinda long. I broke down pretty hard last night over some stuff...I'm realizing those are becoming much more regular now. Guess that's a good thing. It's the kind of breakdown you have when you can't even pray besides sobbing, because you have no words to speak, to anyone, let alone God. Aaron's been getting more hopeful, I'm still struggling with the idea of God's goodness in the midst of a decaying horrible evil world. And frankly, I don't know how to reconcile things I know and God. I don't know if I will ever see the goodness of the Lord or have it revealed to me, and I'm wondering if I would even recognize it for what it was, if He did. I'm...well...I'm not doing anything. I'm waiting on God, albeit sometimes angrily. The Bible says, "Shall not the Judge of all the earth do what is just?"

I just don't know anymore...I guess I'm stubbornly holding on to something I can't see and am unsure of, but won't let go.