New Thing All Around

Hello there,


Yes, I did just post yesterday but I can actually expound on it now. 


Our best friends gave birth to a little boy yesterday around 7pm! Sooo excited for them. Cannot wait to go down and see them and hold that gorgeous honorary nephew! 


Also, sis-in-law and bro are pregnant. Due in January, so that is also exciting. 


And my other friend is due in 9 days! She's also expecting a gorgeous little boy. 


So many babies around or going to be around. How exciting!! 


Today is going to be a good day. I don't have work tomorrow because Hubby's little cousin is graduating from 6th grade, and we're driving up tonight to be with them. Also, Dad-in-love is flying out along with Hubby's aunt, whom I adore (Well, I adore all of our family), just haven't seen her in a long while. Since Hubby's graduation, actually. I really wish Brother and Mom-in-Love could come too. Going to miss them dearly.  


However, excited to be seeing them this weekend and also with having a day off tomorrow, thus 3 day weekend! 


Oh. Notice anything different? Why yes, I did cut my hair! No? Oh. You mean the layout? 


It was time for something different, and this felt more like me at the moment than the other one (though it is a favorite and I'll probably switch to that one again at some point). Reminds me of a faerie gypsy type.


It's been nice around the house, lately. Lots of relaxing and a very calming summertime so far. It's been amazing. Also been getting lots more sleep. I've been going to bed by 10 or 11 every night this week, and wow. Feel so good. 


Also been accepting Facts as true, which has been very healthy for me. 


Overall, it's been a good week. And am very happy it's summertime. 


We're also plotting our 2nd year Anniversary. So excited and can hardly believe it's been 2 years (well, almost)! 

We dance round in a ring and suppose but the secret sits in the middle and knows.

EDIT: As a friend pointed out, I changed the layout! I was tired of the old one and wanted something new and fun. Fits for spring, I think. Anywhoo. Continue reading.

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So I don't know what's wrong with me, but I am sooo tired today. I went to bed early last night, too! Though, to be fair, I didn't sleep very restfully. Kept dreaming about vampires.

Which is from the fact that I had just finished Interview With A Vampire. Very intriguing Anne Rice book. I enjoyed it a lot, found it deliciously creepy (considering the last "vampire" book I had read was New Moon. Ick.). Though...I don't know if I'll read another one of hers, yet. I should probably read The Vampire Lestat to finish it out. I just don't know if I enjoyed her writing enough to read more. I mean, she has two and a half shelves at Borders. That is quite a lot of reading of hers.

However, a book I do want to get soon is called Sunshine. It's a pretty awesome story, also about vampires, but one of the most intriguing depiction of vampires I've read. My friend let me borrow it, saying it was amazing. Indeed it was. I tend to trust his opinion when it comes to books and read whatever he tells me to. Quite a power, that.

On the subject of books, I'm going to start reading The Shack on recommendation of another friend. I honestly don't know what I'll think. I tend to be incredibly wary of books by evangelicals, especially ones that were touted by everyone. She said it's really good, though, and I do trust her opinion. So we shall see.

Week's been rather slow. Work school eat sleep repeat, basically. Though starting tonight we're having friends over every night through Saturday. So that will be fun. Looking forward to hanging out and resting.

I've been having an interesting discussion in my head about some things. Do you ever realize that this one part of you is incredibly strong and the dominant part, but with that one certain person, it goes away and is completely fine with being submissive? Letting the other one get control? Yah. That. I'm trying to work that whole concept out in my own head. It's intriguing to me. I also just enjoy seeing what makes me and others tick, so to speak. It's definitely an interesting project. The thing I keep coming back to is Trust. Utter and complete Trust. (Yes, purposefully capitalized.) When you Trust someone that much, you're more than willing to not be in control. Intriguing.

So this blog is rather short today, mostly cause I don't have much to say. However, Hubby showed me a very interesting blogpost about "God's Will For Your Life", and I'm including a bit. If you want to read the whole thing, here it is. (And I'd definitely advise you do!)

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This notion of GWFYL transforms the process of living into something like the fairy-tale path through the haunted forest -- the Mirkwood trail or the Yellow Brick Road. Except that those paths in those stories are always clearly marked, whereas the trail of GWFYL is invisible and inscrutable and can only be intuited by some visceral sense of spiritual leading.

The idea is a kind of spiritualized version of the romantic pipe-dream of The One -- and it tends to produce the same fearfully tentative, second-guessing approach to living. There's a bit of good advice in Conor Oberst's "First Day," in which he sings, "I'd rather be working for a paycheck / than waiting to win the lottery." But the notion of GWFYL or of waiting for The One turns that advice upside-down, viewing such practical work as a dangerous distraction from one's lottery-playing duties.

One reason I don't much care for this idea of GWFYL is that I've seen its effect on young evangelicals forced to shoulder its crushing burden. No one can live like that, governed by an ultimate-stakes gamble based on unwritten rules, offering no assurance other than that the potential for inadvertent-but-damning disobedience lurks in every decision.

Just as importantly, I don't care for the way this notion takes something explicitly clear and invariable -- the will of God -- and twists it into something mysterious, ever-changing and idiosyncratic.

What is God's Will For Your Life? the prophet asks, and then answers his own question, "To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." That's from the Bible -- a book that's rather repetitive and unambiguous on the question of GWFYL. On God's will for everyone's life, actually.

But somehow none of that ever enters into evangelical conversations of career and romantic prospects and GWFYL. Whatever it is supposed to mean, GWFYL doesn't seem to have much of anything to do with acting justly or loving mercy or breaking the chains of oppression or setting the captives free or feeding the hungry or comforting the sick or giving freely to those in need or planting gardens or ensuring that the city prospers or loving one's neighbor as oneself.

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And that is all from me today. Perhaps this weekend shall provide some interesting blog posts. Perhaps not.

Wow...I'm going rather British today. No idea why. Ah well.

In fun news, I'm channeled gypsy for my outfit today. Hehe. Off to lunch, then finish work, class, coffee with a friend. Phew.

It's one of those days...

You know when you wake up and you just know it's going to be "one of those days"? Not necessarily bad, but still. I woke up like that this morning. Both my alarms went off, and I still manged to wake up ten minutes later than I meant to. Which meant I had to rush to get out the door because I needed to get bus money. Oh yes, that's right. I ran out of bus money yesterday (well, not ran out so much as needed more). I realized this fact at 1 AM when nothing is open. So I decided I would just go early. Set my alarms and went to bed with my hubby. Slept restless (we both woke up at 4 AM for some reason and couldn't fall back to sleep till later). Then, as I said before, woke up 10 minutes later than I meant even with my alarms going off. So rushed, got bus money, made it to the bus in time, and all that. But it feels like just one of those days. It was so cold this morning when I was out walking to my stop, freezing in my office building. I'm just now starting to get warm, and wistfully thinking of the warm covers and body I left at home this morning.

I suppose I shouldn't be complaining as much...I have a steady job in a recession, I have a husband who loves me and takes care of me, a roof over my head, food on the table, etc...

...except that I'm not at peace. I'm just so tired and worn out from everything. I feel like "butter scraped over too much bread". It feels like I keep giving and giving, putting out so much of my emotions and energy, but what's getting returned is only 1/4 of what I gave out...but somehow I'm supposed to keep doing the same amount, on less. I'm struggling with my faith, and have so many doubts. I don't know where to turn...God feels so very distant and sometimes not even there.

sigh.

I just wish there weren't so many questions and so few answers...

I miss them terribly.