Trust dreams. Trust your heart, and trust your story

It's been feeling like one of those weeks...and unfortunately, there's not much I can point at and go, "See! That's why." cause it's not that simple (things rarely are). It's just been frustrating and tiring already, and it's only Wednesday. Fantastic. (Note: if you do not hear the sarcasm in my tone, try again. That's not a good 'fantastic', that's a bad 'fantastic'.)

I have been trying--feeling frustrated with!--to figure out my plans for school. There's some really great programs I found, but I need to finish out some big PreReqs first (and get my grades up), which is rather hard to do when you're only doing 6 units at a time. I'm seriously considering transferring to a CC to finish things up. The sad one is I would be leaving my friends--though most are graduating this semester anyway, so I guess not all that sad--and the place I've done school at for a long while. Though perhaps it's time to move on. I've made some dear friends there (and met my hubby there...that's important!), and some dear bittersweet memories. Perhaps it's time for that chapter of my life to be closing. We shall find out. It's looking more and more like that. Though I do hope I can figure out a way to stay to finish out my Foreign Language requirement...

*****

Well, I didn't get this done before Hubby and I ran off for lunch. We met up with a friend for lunch, which was nice. She was kind enough to not mind us dropping in for 45 minutes to say hi, heat up our sketti, and hang out. She's getting married in the next several weeks, and then moving away. We're really really excited for her and her future hubby (both amazing people and totally deserve each other!) but we're really feeling the sting of going to miss both of them so very much once they're settled several hours away. It's hard having changes, and even in a broader sense, it's hard knowing that most of our friends are graduating this semester and then scattering off into the world. Changes are hard, and knowing friends you're so used to seeing on a daily/weekly basis (where you can just stop by for a quick visit unannounced) will be far enough away that you'll have to plan the trips. Even just because they'll be working and busy. That's how life is, I suppose. It's hard adjusting to, though. I'm used to it and not at the same time. I miss spontaneous trips and visits with friends. But on the other hand, I know how hard and busy life is for people, that once you get to working FT and "grownup responsibilities", it's incredibly hard to just go stop by someone's house. There's a good chance they won't be there. Heh. Such is life. It definitely makes you appreciate the friends you have, and the hardwork it takes for the relationships to stick even while apart. Hooray for texting/email/chatting/video chat, that's for sure!

Speaking of friends leaving, one of my dear dear friends got accepted into a Masters program over in Scotland. Needless to say, she's overjoyed but also a bit overwhelmed with the planning and figuring out finances. Hop over to her blog, read about her (she's a wonderful person!), and maybe donate a little bit, if you'd like, to help her fund her way to Scotland. The program is amazing, and she deserves it!

I was talking to a dear friend today about some frustrations I was having because Hubby was frustrated with his job, and I wasn't sure how to "fix it". She reminded me that sometimes I can't fix things, but that I can encourage and remind him of how much he is supporting me. Of how much he's taking care of me and how thankful I am of that, especially in a dysfunctional work environment (I'm being a bit polite here...). I thought about it, figured I had been doing that, and honestly didn't think too much of it until we were sitting in the car, waiting out our last five minutes of lunch break in the parking lot at work. He had leaned back his chair and was really worn out. So I went, "You know what, what the ---". I leaned over and whispered encouragement, support, and anything else I could think of to let him know how thankful I was for him, how he was supporting me, etc. It worked like a charm. It didn't fix everything, by any means, but I watched the stress drain from his face for a brief moment as I hugged him and felt him relax in my arms.

It reminded me that while he and I are both physical (touch is our love language, after all), we both need to reminded with words of how much we mean to each other. And I had been trying to show that through taking care of him, fixing dinner, helping him relax after work, etc (which is all good, and blesses him tremendously), but I hadn't out and out thanked him for taking care of me, supporting me. Sticking through it, so that I/we can have a good place to live, a good car to drive, and a home, together.

So take note. When your SO is feeling down and discouraged, sometimes all he needs is for you to snuggle up, hold them, and whisper, "Thank you for taking care of me. For supporting me. Even with all the hell it is, thank you."

That's my lesson learned for the day, at least. So many thanks to my friend for reminding me of it.

I was going to talk a bit about feeling frustrated with where I was again....but I realized I'm not, actually. Many of my friends are being incredibly blessed in fun unique ways, and I am sooo very happy for them. I had some things to work out, but for the most part, I am doing rather well right where I am. For that, I am thankful.

I need to do a book review on The Shack. I don't know what to make of the theology in it, nor did I pay enough attention to it, to be honest. So I should re-read it before I do any kind of review...however, after finishing it, I realized a few days later I was praying more and felt more at ease with God and able to talk to Him. My relationship shifted, of sorts. At any rate, it helped me through some struggles I was having with God, myself, because the author was struggling with similar things. I am thankful for that. And it opened up my eyes to a different perspective of God...I need to reread it, and think more on it. Overall, I'm thankful I did read it. And I'm thankful it helped.

And that's all I have for now. Life, while hard in some things, has been good in others. Which seems to be the case normally, whatever "normally" means.

Ta!

P.s. In other news, I became a semi-vegetarian (by that I mean I still occasionally eat meat, though cut eating it way back, learning how to balance meals with Hubby who still loves meat), am starting to work out with Hubby, lost 10 pounds, feel healthy, look healthy ("Hott" according to Hubby XD), and am overall feeling rather good about myself. I like eating mostly veggies and fruit. I just need to be better at getting all my protein, working on it.

The tower's built of spit and spite, without a sound, without a sight. The biter bit, the bitter bite. (It's better to be out at night.)

So...as you can tell from the title, I'm on a Neil Gaiman binge. Well, not really. I just got a new book of his, Fragile Things. It's his collection of short stories and some poetry. Very good. The title is from a short about Vampires. I found it intriguing that it's basically a cycle that never finishes. Specifically: The biter bit, the bitter bite. And around and around it goes... Intriguing.

Anyway.

I/We had a very interesting odd weekend. First off, because Hubby's great-uncle passed away and we headed up to the funeral on Saturday. It was a lovely ceremony with family on a cliff overlooking the ocean with the waves crashing in the background. At the end, all the grandkids threw flowers into the ocean. Hubby read a speech from his dad who couldn't make it out, and everyone loved it. All in all, it was very lovely and dear, a good remembrance service. Then we drove home and got back about 8-9pm.

Sunday, of course, was Valentine's Day. Hubby and I were amazed and delighted to realize this was our fourth Valentine's together-1 dating, 1 engaged, 2 married. We both could hardly believe it's been that long, but come December, we'll have been together for four years and counting. So very wonderful.

So Sunday, we didn't have plans. We wanted a relaxing Valentine's Day, nothing stressful. Hubby had taken me out to dinner last week early on as our V-Day dinner. I was wanting to do something on Sunday but couldn't figure out what. We slept in, relaxed, and then Hubby got up and "ordered" me to stay in bed and in comfy PJs while he went out to run errands. When he got home, he made me walk out with my eyes closed and then gave me my gifts. The first were these gorgeous orchid plants he got me, instead of a bouquet of flowers, because he wanted them to last as long as possible, and these can keep growing and blooming for a long while (so long as I keep taking care of them. Hehe). Then he told me he was going to make us dinner, and we were going to curl up on the couch watching fun movies and just have a relaxing night. It was a lovely Valentine's Day. I have the best husband around, and I am one lucky,lucky girl.

To my delight, I discovered on Friday that I had the day off Monday because of President's Day! I was a bit worried I'd still have to get up early to go in to work with Hubby because of the whole one car thing and I had a class at 6pm. However, Hubby's boss let him off at 4:30 which meant I was able to sleep in till noon (Haven't done that in a LONG time!), take a shower, relax, read, organize the house a bit, and do wifey things. It was gloriously relaxing. I didn't have to worry about anything, got some laundry done and some dishes (thank God for washer/dryer and dishwasher! It's amazing!). I also discovered that our lovely little Condo is amazingly peaceful and quiet during the day, and bright with sunlight when you have the doors and windows all open! I spent a good two hours curled up in a recliner just reading and enjoying the sounds from outside that didn't involve sirens or yelling. Hehe. I honestly can't wait till I can stay at home and only work Part-Time. I don't know exactly when that will happen, but man, am I looking forward to it!

Well, I have set a goal. My hubby is taking me and a friend on an "Epic Date" (his name for it) in April. Which means, I would like to get in better shape before then. So...I have decided to start swimming in the mornings, and doing the P90X with my hubby (we start next week!), and also cut down on my food intake. By which I mean, except for one meal, only fruits and veggies for the rest. I want to tone up and lose this stomach. I fully admit I've been a bit lax when it comes to working out, but with my hubby getting up at 6AM every other day to go running, and starting the P90X, I figured I should too. Might try some Yoga too ;) Goal: Lose weight, but overall, be in better shape, and lost the stomach. Whatever that means and however that works out. The nice one is Tues/Thurs I'm on campus about an hour before my class, so I can easily do a quick half hour at the gym and get to class. So, here's hoping it works! I knew taking 2 PE classes this semester was a good idea!

Oh, btw. I'm getting a new addition to my body, face really. Glasses! I went and got an eye exam (I totally forgot the air-puff they do to my eyes, I must have jumped a foot!), and got glasses. They are cute, if I do say so myself. They'll be coming in about 2 weeks. Hopefully it'll help my headaches go away, especially with trying to see the powerpoint and reading the board at school (and also driving), because so far, I keep getting major migraines. Meh. Hooray for a job that causes eye strain. But hey, at least it's a job.

Alrighty, I think that's all caught up now. I have work to do, somewhat, and signs to practice.

Ta!

P.s. Here's hoping I get some other additions to my body soon too. XD