You say hello and I say goodbye....

Well, hello there. Yes, I know it's been a while. Almost three weeks. No, don't look at me like that. You know life gets in the way. Fine fine. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to neglect you. Are we good now? Yes? May I continue? Well, thanks. 


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It's been a really busy stressful last few weeks. I kept meaning to write something on here, but...the inspiration so to speak just never showed up. Things I wanted to write on, I shouldn't (journaled about them instead). And to be perfectly honest, life just hasn't slowed up for me lately. 


Celebrated Hubby's birthday on the 30th. That was fun! Went out to Benihana (yes, again) for dinner that night. Then the next day after a bike ride we had a fun BBQ with a bunch of friends over. Then we just relaxed and had some fun on Sunday. He had a full birthday weekend, which was awesome. He got to buy fun things he wanted, I got him some fun things, and overall, he had a great birthday [so he tells me. I think I'll believe him ;-) ] 


Hm. I suppose it's not so much been busy, as just things catching up with me and not having time/energy/willpower/wanting to write about them. A lot (if not most!) are things I'm just figuring out and dealing with in my own personhood (is that a word? Blogger says no...hrm). 


For instance, this past weekend was Mother's Day (Happy Mother's Day!!! Love to you all!!). Which put in the forefront of my mind all of my dear friends who are expecting their first baby in a few weeks or a few months. And...it was kind of hard. I know what I need to be doing and where I ought to be going, but...I still am feeling very left out and stuck in a place while they're going on their own way and moving forward. It's hard, and very restless for me. 


Which leads to the other thing (well, one of the other things) I've been wrestling and struggling with. The feeling that my (our) support group/friend group is slowly dissapaiting (however you spell that!) away. Not  maliciously, just...people moving on and away. Which is the way life is, I suppose, but also hurts and is frustrating because I (we, really) am a people-person (while being a bit of an introvert, Figure that one out!), and it's hard to realize that things are moving and changing, and feeling like you're stuck in the same place. 


Also probably why I've been feeling so restless and uneasy (in just a not at ease place, not worried about anything) place in my life right now. I feel like there's a big change coming soon for us, that it's going to happen soon, but I don't know what (though I have ideas, but that's a blog for a later time).....like you're poised on the edge of a cliff waiting to jump and knowing you're going to but haven't yet and you're bouncing back and forth on your toes, just barely staying where you are. 


That's what I'm feeling like lately, but also with a feeling like my friends have already jumped and for some reason I'm still here at the top, waiting (and anyone who knows me, knows I hate waiting!). Mix that feeling with a sense of loneliness at the moment and it makes for a very restless uneasy frustrated me. 


Though as a dear friend pointed out, sometimes that strong of a feeling of restlessness and unease (I really need to find a better word...not unease as in worry. Unease as in just antsy and pacing, almost) of where you're at is God's way of getting you prepared for some Change that is coming, whether you know when or what. 


I know that. Still....doesn't make this feeling any easier to deal with. 


Though....I suppose that's a welcome to Life and Relationships. Nothing's simple and clear-cut. It's all messy and complicated and convuluted (sp??) and hard to figure out. People who say it's all Simple and Easy are following a Script of living, not really Living. And...I've tried it that other way and it's not worth it. I'd rather be Living, thanks, with all the complications and hardships and frustrations that come with just dealing with other humans. Even if it's hard and I need reminding a lot of times.  


C'est la vie. 


P.s. Go see Iron Man 2 and stay till the end of the credits!! It was excellently done, and the cast was awesome! I personally think it was a bit better than the first, but that's a lot to do with the plot and characters...instead of the first one just setting it all up (which it did very well). 


Also, cannot wait for Inception to come out!! It looks amazing. And I'd see anything done by the Nolan Brothers. Also Robin Hood with Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott. Plus The Last Airbender. There are just so many good movies coming out! w00t!